When Parents Forget That Teenagers Are Kids Too!
Apr 04 '01
The Bottom Line Just be there....
Before you read this, I want to let you know that I have tried to discuss this with the parents of the child I speak of. They won't here anything about her. So all of you who think I have no right to treat her this way, I say I have all right to.
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I have written probably about five different articles on this subject about my own teenager, but this time I figured I would take a different angle on the subject.
Just recently, my 15 year old daughter Nicole became friends with another 15 year old girl named Ashley. It has been about two months or so that they have been friends, and I can honestly say that this one particular girl is my favorite of all my daughters friends.
Let me explain. Ashley whose parents are divorced, and each have been re-married, has issues. I understand that all teenagers have issues, whether they be good or bad. But no matter what, issues always come up. Now Ashley is this wonderful soul who deserves as much happiness as the next, but unfortunately does not get it from home.
At first I thought that she was making it up, but then I witnessed it first hand by her father and step-mom. The problem being that her step-mom has a daughter that is 15 also. They also have 2 young sons together. Now the first time I witnessed her being pushed aside was a few weeks ago. I went over there to drop my daughter off for the day, and instead of her parents coming out and saying hello to me, they decided that they were going to embarrass this poor child to tears by yelling at her in front of my daughter and I. Now what really upset me, is that the other daughter had her friend there as well, and they were joking around with her, saying "Aww look at poor Ashley". I was utterly embarrassed for her. And I thought, how could any parent put there child down so low in front of anyone or even no one?
So instead of leaving the girls there, I decided that I would take them to the flea market, and they could have a good time being together there, instead of Ashley being ridiculed at home.
Now I don't know how anyone else thinks, but to me, this is down right unnecessary to do. I think about it sometimes, especially when she is here. Which is almost everyday. And it just bothers me that the parents think so little of her. That they would rather degrade her, than make her feel good. Parents like this shouldn't even be able to have such a special gift like a child.
So to make her and myself feel better, I take her out with my family, I offer her advice on things that she asks, I even went to the Woman's Center and had them evaluate her for birth control because her parents won't except that fact that she is sexually active. Which to me is just down right naive. If you know your child is sexually active, why aren't you as their parent doing everything you can to keep them safe from getting pregnant or getting sexually transmitted diseases!
As I end this article or more like a rant. I just want everyone to remember that being a parent is not about "ALL THE GOOD TIMES", it is about all the times. Bad, good, hard, easy, and just different. You can't expect things to go your way every time. Life is not programmed to work out the exact way we plan it to. And children, and yes teenagers are still children, are not always those perfect kids you expect them to be. But they are no doubt still your kids. So act like they are. And don't push them off to other families because you have decided that you are no longer a parent because they give you a little trouble.
I am grateful for Ashley. I really am. She calls me Mommy, she is a darling little girl, she is respectful to me and my family, and as long as she is here and part of my child's life, and even when she is not, I will still treat her as she deserves to be treated. With decency and respect like all of us do. And I figure if she can't get happiness at home, I will give her as much happiness as I can ~
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jeanniekerns
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Member: Jeannie Kerns
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Hi there.. I am Jeannie !!
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