What Can a Poor Boy Do?
Sep 21 '01 (Updated Jan 28 '06)
The Bottom Line Most any difficult situation in college can be resolved with determination and persistence.
College is an enjoyable time for most students. It’s a time to learn, a time to grow, a time to meet new people, and a time to experience new things. It’s mostly a positive time period in most of our lives. But it’s not all fun and happiness. There are some very tough times, too, and the way that you choose to deal with these difficult experiences can make or break your future or career.
Common Problem Areas:
When I reflect back to my college years, in the 1980’s, I can define four key areas where students experienced problems: academic, financial, personal, and social. There is no single area where I can say, with certainty, that it’s the most common problem area, or the most difficult to overcome. I witnessed an equal amount of problems in all four of these areas.
Academic problems usually center around the lack of adequate study time. It could be that the student is intentionally skipping classes and is missing out on learning what he/she needs in order to succeed in the class. It could also be a problem with a course load that’s too heavy. It’s also possible that the academic problems are the result of lack of interest in a particular subject.
Financial difficulties are commonplace, and they are sometimes difficult to overcome. Sometimes, students lack discipline and run themselves into debt. Finding a job is then a necessity, and if the needed work hours are too long, it can lead to academic problems, too, which compounds the difficult situation even more. Other times, the problem isn’t just discipline, it’s a case of where the total expenditures are simply too great each month to stay financially afloat. In extreme cases, even a part- time job doesn’t provide enough cash flow to pay all of the student’s monthly debts and living expenses.
Personal problems are those that are unique to each individual. They can include health issues, problems with family, parental pressure to succeed, and many more. From my experience, the greatest personal problem that other students faced was from parents. They would often call their child on the phone with threats like “if you don’t improve your grade point average to at least 3.00, I’m cutting off your funds!”, or “I better not hear anybody say anything about you having too much fun….school is for learning, not socializing”. I found that female students had more problems with parents than male students did, and I think this directly relates to the old male/female double standard. It wasn’t a big deal if boys caroused and had fun, but girls were supposed to be prim and proper, lest they damage their reputation and embarrass their family.
Social problems strike most all college students, to one degree or another. With the constant interaction with other students; the experiences with roommates; and the possibilities of joining social and/or academic clubs, there is most assuredly going to be something that goes wrong. There are so many young, developing personalities that you have to deal with every day, when you’re a student, that it’s inevitable that you will experience some difficulties.
How Can You Deal With These Issues?:
Let’s start with academic problems. If you are experiencing problems with grades, the first thing you need to do is conduct a self- evaluation of your chosen field of study. Maybe the classes that relate to your major are just not that interesting, and this is causing you to perform poorly. Or, maybe you’re studying in an academic area that you lack the necessary skills to succeed. If this is the case, then you should consider switching majors. It might set you back a year or two, with all the additional classes that you will need to take, but it will be worth it in the long run. Above all, you don’t want to graduate with a degree in a field that doesn’t really interest you.
If you’re happy with your present course of study, but your performance is less than satisfactory, then you might want to consider seeking a tutor. Many colleges offer tutoring services, as part of your tuition fees. If your college is one of those, then take advantage of this! It’s a free service, so you should make the best of it. And if your problem is just a case of bad study habits, well, you will need to better manage your time.
Financial problems are next. If money is really getting you down, then you need to look over your budget and make sure that you’re not spending money frivolously. If you don’t have a job, then you should consider getting one, if the debt and living expenses are mounting at a faster rate than you can pay them off. You might even need to drop a few classes, if your financial needs are so great that they interfere with your academic success.
Personal problems are the toughest to give advice on, because every situation is so different. If your problem is health- related, then you might need to take an extended amount of time off. It’s not worth staying in school, if it means wrecking your health. If your problems involve overbearing parents, then you will need to devise your own way to handle the situation. I knew many sets of obnoxious parents, when I was a student. In some cases, the parents were so annoying and so controlling that the student was left with no choice but to hide some of the truth. This was especially true with female students, who often had to put on an act, when they talked to their parents, and pretend to be prudish. I even knew some parents who were so overbearing that they even dictated what classes their son or daughter was allowed to take! They took the authoritarian position that, since it was their (the parents) money, the student had to study whatever the parents told them to study. If you are unlucky enough to find yourself in this type of predicament, then all you can do is “play the game” and go along with what your parents say, or make a clean break and become financially independent. It might cost you a few thousand dollars in student loans, but you’ll be able to keep your sanity.
Social problems are numerous and they often require learning new skills and techniques for knowing how to deal with people in difficult, tense, or awkward situations. These social skills are only developed over time. When I was 18, I was not nearly as diplomatic and tactful as I am today. I hadn’t really ever faced many of the social situations that awaited me in college, so I was unsure how to handle them appropriately. Sometimes, my methods worked, other times, they were disastrous. I gradually got better at this, with each passing year.
Final Thoughts:
College is full of good times, and bad times. The good generally outweigh the bad, but like with anything else, the negative experiences seem to stand out.
For myself, I had very few academic problems; numerous financial problems; no personal problems; and some social problems. Since I was financially independent, I never had to worry about pressure from parents. I was completely on my own, free to do whatever I pleased, and also 100 percent responsible for the results of my actions.
Because of this financial independence, I was sometimes overwhelmed by money problems. I didn’t get any assistance from any family member. My lowest point was my Sophomore year, when my money supply was getting so tight that I had to limit my food intake to only one meal per day. I noticed that, after living this way for a while, I would wake up in the morning and I could actually feel my stomach tightening up! At one point, I was actually 20 to 30 pounds underweight! Students often worry about the “freshman 20” (the tendency to put on 20 pounds when you go to college), but for me, my worry was the opposite- weight loss rather than weight gain, due to lack of food.
After a while, I decided that I had to drop some classes to save my health. I did this one other semester also, and it resulted in the postponement of my college graduation by one full year. I took 5 years to finish.
When difficult times strike you in school, you have to make some tough decisions. You can take the easy way out and just drop out completely, or you can grit your teeth and charge forward. Things can seem overwhelming at times, but any problem can be resolved with determination. My advice is to keep trying and never give up. In the end, you will be thankful that you did.
For More Educational Reading, Click on the Links Below:
Advice on College Admissions:
Choosing a College or University
How to Help Your Child Choose a College
How to Apply to College
Should I Transfer Schools?
Should I Take Time Off?
Should I Go to Grad School?
Advice on College Life:
College Survival Tips
What is College Really Like?
What I Should Know About Dealing with College Roommates
What Should I Know About Greek Life in College?
What I Should Know About Alcohol Abuse in College
What I Should Know About Spring Break Planning
What Should I Bring to School
How Can I Succeed in College Academics?
How to Manage Your Time
How Should I Prepare for Life After Graduation?
Advice on College Finances:
Should I Take a Part Time Job?
How to Pay Off Student Loans
How to Manage Your Budget
How to Negotiate Financial Aid Packages
How to Apply for Financial Aid
Reviews of Test Prep Materials, Services, and “How To”:
800Score.com
How to Take the GMAT
How to Take the GRE
What is the GRE?
Kaplan GMAT On- Line Course
Princeton Review GMAT On- Line Course
Reviews of Specific Universities:
Wright State University
University of Dayton
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