How and what to say to your Children!
Oct 06 '01
The Bottom Line Please don't lie to your children, let them know what's going and don't be scared to talk to them.
The tragedy that occurred on September 11th, 2001, was very crazy and out of control. People all around the world are very upset with all that is going on. Now children and Teenagers keep asking questions about what's going on and why this has happened. Now some people say "should I tell the truth," and then Others are saying "just tell them anything."
In my opinion I would just tell the honest truth. They have the right to know what's going on. This is life and this is what's going on in the world today. Younger children may not ask as many questions as older children may. As long as they are old enough to understand then why not let them know? Even younger children you can explain to them what's going on and let them know that the people who did this are very bad. I don't believe in lying to a child about this stuff. All of this that is going on is very serious. Children are today's future they have the right to know!
Please don't look at this like I'm saying a 2 year old child would really care and ask questions about this. Just my opinion but I really don't think that he/she would ask any questions. But I believe children who watch TV and see this will ask questions about what it is and why it's going on. There is no doubt about that. Everyone feels different about this and I really do understand but please understand me. Lying to a child and telling them something like, "Oh honey they are just playing and it will end really soon," Or "Oh honey don't worry about that it's not close to us so nothing will happen to you." To tell you the truth those are the two things I have heard people really say to their children. Now to me that is really wrong, especially the first one. Now what would a child think if he/she heard that from his Mom or dad (The one's who are always right)? Then thought to his/her self that all that was cool and maybe one day he/she could do that? Think about it and think before you open your mouth. Make sure you say the right things.
Schools should maybe send a form home to parents asking their opinions on what they think about this. Maybe even a little letter about how to talk to their children about what's going on in the world today. That can't hurt! But if a school was going to talk about this to the children then they really should ask the parents first. The only reason I'm saying this is because, maybe the parents talked to the children already and told them a story that they wanted them to know, or they don't want their child to really know what's really going on. These things could happen. If a school told the children one thing and the parents told them another, then I believe the child would be very confused. But really my opinion is just tell them the truth. Don't lie to them, it's not good!
If your reading this and wondering what to say to a child or what to do I will give you some tips that I would do. You may or may not use them but please read them.
1.) Spend some time with your children and ask them about what's on their mind. How do they feel about what's going on. Also ask what they have been talking about in school. If they tell you a little about what has been said from either teachers or classmates maybe you can relate or differ from that.
2.) Try not to watch it over and over again on television. Seeing these images over and over will not help you make sense of it. The images are horrifying yet we are attracted to them. That is common. But by seeing this again and again, you distort things. Young children may even think that there are hundreds of attacks rather than four. If you are watching and your children are around, turn off the TV. You may be able to handle this, but they will certainly distort things.
3.) Make sure that they feel safe at home and in school. Reinsure them that home and school is still safe. Also let them know that People are doing this to make sure we will always be safe.
4.) Let them know that what they feel is normal, If its scared, safe, mad, sad, or confused. Maybe let them know how you feel. Tell them a little about what's going on in your mind.
5.) If the child/ children are mad make sure they don't direct Their anger at the wrong people. Don't let the hate that led to this terrorism spread. (I know their children but it starts out young). Don't let them lump all people from different ethnicity or religion into the same group. Let them know that this was the work of a small group of hateful mean people. Tell them to blame the bad people on TV not someone else.
6.) Don't feel like you have to have all of the answers. Some aspects of this will forever remain beyond understanding. If they ask you about something that you really have no clue about then tell them the truth, You really don't know and maybe we will never know why something's happen.
7.) Now to me this is very important! This is what I have tried to do since this terrible tragedy.
Resume normal patterns of activity at home. It is helpful to keep routines. If these events disrupt the family structure, it could be more disturbing for the children.
8.) If you need more help in talking to your child, Or you feel as if you may need some more advice on how to talk to your child, don't hesitate to reach out for more help. In most communities there are professionals and organizations that can help answer your questions and get you the service that you need. That is always an open option.
Don't be afraid to talk with your child about this. Be open, Honest, clear and accurate. Children do not benefit from "not thinking about it" or "putting it out of their minds." Your children will over hear some of the conversations you may have with your friends, or family members. They maybe hearing some of this on the Radio or on the TV. I really do think that it is Important to talk with your children about this. The parents should always be the healthy filter of information for their children.
Thank you for reading my opinion. I hope this has helped you see my point of view. If not then sorry.
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sylkefyn82
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Member: Sarah
Location: Troy NY
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