Prose 2 Clothespin Your Nose 2: The PC 2 & Masquerade W-O, Too
Oct 21 '02
The Bottom Line Two sleeping pills for the price of one... Put the coffee on before reading, or be prepared to lose a day...
INTRODUCTION x 2:
When my buddy-pal, Mark (Annexation,) and my buddy-gal, Arielssong, reminded me I had previously committed myself 2 their currently due and owing "POETICALLY-CHALLENGED 2" and "MASQUERADE" Write-Offs, respectively; I realized I SHOULD have committed myself, for HAVING committed myself. Since it came down 2 a choice between preparing for a televised debate with my political opponent, Congressman Schiff this Wednesday night, and this project, I, in keeping with my common sense-challenged tradition, opted 2 honor my 2 W-O obligations. However, I'm going 2 have to merge the 2 2 economize on time. THE MASQUERADE W-O requires me 2 turn in2 someone else; literally. THE PC2 W-O requires me 2 package my communication in any type of poetry or prose I choose. The requirements imposed by the 2 W-Os, individually, let alone 2gether, might be enough 2 daunt a RATIONAL writer, but not ME! You've got 2 be irrational if you ever want 2 be properly committed! Uhhhmmmm... That didn't come out the way I meant it 2 (or perhaps it did...) Combining these 2 should prove 2 be an interesting challenge...
The "prompt-line" I'm required to use for the M ASQUERADE W-O, is:
"If I could be any epinions member for a night, (week, minute, whatever...) I would choose to be..."
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TRANSMIGRATION SING-A-LONG POETRY (IT'S A NEW "GENDRE" [GET IT?])
[Sung to the tune of the "OH SUZANNA"]
From XY to "dou-ble-X's,"
From six-foot to five-foot-three--
I've been turned in-to a-lex-is
So I guess she must be me.
Complaints from spite,
All day, I heft
Abuse forms pi-led high-h-h--
A-noth-er-r-r "plot;"
"E-pin-ions death"
More acc-u-sa-tions fly-y-y.
I'm a-a-a-LEX-IS,
The gun-moll of EP-P-P-P!
And I'll work in my pa-ja-mas
Till-I'm turned back in-to-me.
I dreamed failed bids to "clean the site"
Left epins cold and still,
It wasn't from ab-use-ers, though;
'Twas "curers" caused the kill.
At EP's wake,
They all turned out;
Her once-di-verse sup-ply-y-y
Of writers "mob-reform" drove south,
And caused ep to di-i-i-e.
I'm a-a-a-LEX-IS,
You peeps take crap from ME!
And I'll work in my pa-ja-mas
Till-I'm turned back in-to-me.
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["Sung to the tune of the "OSCAR-MEYER WEINER jingle"]
Oh, I've JUST be-COME e-PINS' as-SIS-tant LEA-der-r-r-r,
Now I-RULE the-EEPS com-MU-ni-TY-EEE-EEE!
So IF-you're AN-ab-USE-er OR-a CHEA-ter-r-r-r,
I'M-the E-pi-GAL from-whom you'll-FLE-E-E-E-E!
If you WAN-na-HAT you'd BEST-be- A-re-PEA-ter-r-r-r
Of-GOS-sip, DIRT-and USE-er MIS-e-RY-EEE-EEE!
So KISS-my ASS-or FIND-a NURSE; --you'll NEED'er-r-r-r
Cause I'M "al-EX-is" NOW you're "HIST-o-RY-E-E-E-E!"
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I know, I know... You've gotten SO caught up in the abusive, fun spirit of subversive-singalongs, you want to start writing and singing/reciting your own... Right?! Gotcha-- Here's some unsolicited advice (it ALL is.) When you were little, waiting for all those tedious, inane adverts to cease their aggravating interruption of "He-Man & She-Ra," or "Punky Brewster," do you remember how frustrated you'd get? Rather than deflect this negative, destructive energy onto nearby family members and pets, I would focus my aggravation on the commercials themselves. Eventually, I started tape recording them for friends. When my friends started recording their own, we'd get together on each other's foul, invective-sprinkled commercials and public announcements. Eventually, the TV shows became the nuisance...
The following are a couple of variations on Robert Frost's "NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY." The fun part isn't so much in the rhyming, as it is in maintaining the rhyming and similar-sounding wording as that used in the original, yet at the same time, twisting the original theme in a manner that subversively suits your purposes. If you need sick inspiration, imagine you're reciting/singing them for the original copywriters who wrote the sides (script) you're subverting.
(This 1st version is the original, written By Robert Frost:)
*** *** *** *** ***
"Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."
*** *** *** *** ***
(This variation I adaptated for a comment on an "epinions after1 year" editorial comment)
Nothing Gold Can Stay; --EPINS
Epin's first year was gold
Her talent manifold.
Her "experts" once had power;
But management turned sour.
Integrity was brief,
So Epins sank to grief,
So talent goes its way
Nothing gold can stay.
*** *** *** *** ***
(The following variation is a comment I left on pogomom's "DEPENDS W-O" submission--)
"Nothing Gold Can Stain;" --DEPENDS
Helen's first green is gold
A hard fluid to hold.
Without Depends, a shower;
Results in just an hour.
Incontinence brought grief.
So Helen sought relief,
Depends stop golden rain.
Nothing gold can stain.
[Feel free to plaster this comment section with any of your own creative efforts.]
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THE QBOO Q-LLITERATION CHALLENGE
KBOO: "Hi, 29th, my name is kboo. It never rains but it pours, and when it does, it does for forty days and forty nights! Man oh man! So, the real test is: can you alliterate with Q? Call me 'qboo' if you can."
29TH: QUIET Qboo-- ,
The quiddity of Qboo's "quid-nunc" "Q"-question quiz quite quashed my quotidian quietude. I quivered and quaked. Quite a quandry, quoth I, querulously quibbling to myself. Could I quell the current queasiness this quarrelsome querist caused, by acquiring a qualifying quorum of Q-words; quadruple or quintuple my quaint current "Q"-consonance quota, thereby quick-wittedly acquitting myself of my "quid-pro-quo "Q-quest, quickly, quieting qboo's quizzical Q-consonance qualifications questioning quips? I unequivocally requited qboo's Q-question query with a quota-qualifying quantity of quality Q-consonance quotes, then quietly quit.
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BE SURE TO READ THE WRITE-OFF SUBMISSIONS OF THESE OTHER FRUSTRATED POETS...
Lattechick - Annexation - Annecal - Artbyjude - Badkittym - Imokliel - Shadow_Dream - Son_Gokou - Granniemose - Youngchinq - Maggsmom - Natch - Deaser26 - Nifer - Repulsemonkey - Officer - Lilscamp - 29th_Candidate - Sordid-1 - Sumo_Rhino - November-Rain - Tlimjoco - Flamepillar - Vania - Alawston - Jadabelle - Love_Less - Mafiapick - Charles_Tatum - Lemon_Lime - Nyquil_addict - Dedemw - Irrelevant
...AND THESE OTHER LOST SOULS TRAPPED IN OTHER BODIES:
Mnehr
Mattels
Matthew7
Artbyjude
Granniemose
29th_Candidate
Lambchops
Aliventiasylum
SurgRN911
TheUnknown285
Kurt_ Messick
Arielssong
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Thank You For Reading,
--29th
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Member: Jim Scileppi
Location: The 29th Congressional District, CA
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Trusted by: 516 members
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