OF COURSE I’M TRYSEXUAL, THE GREAT UNISEX BEAUTY W/O
Jul 15 '05
The Bottom Line Well there's another serious topic down the drain.
Normally I ain’t much of a joiner around here especially when it comes to mutual admiration circle jerks er excuse me write off’s. Every now and then though something just begs for me to reluctantly crash er I mean willingly and gleefully join.
Besides it was a slow day at work today and I had nothing better to do. Actually it’s not a slow day, but I decided that considering what they pay me around here I reached my stuff getting done this week quota around noon on Wednesday.
Finally this technically could be considered some sort of beauty thing and there is a clique of hatted types there that go into paroxysms whenever my name is even mentioned in their circles. Scribbling and posting something is usually good enough to have them, chanting and burning me in effigy. Effigy by the way is a small town just down the Interstate from Brisbane or so I’m told.
Therefore to quote Tom Cruise before he turned into a complete emasculated twit “Sometimes you just have to say what the phuque!”
So without further long rambling preamble I give you:
1. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
Franks Red Hot Sauce. Seriously I find it brings out my inner beauty much more than Lee & Perrins ever did.
2. Do you self-tan, sunbathe or get yours from mowing the lawn?
I live in Canada; the minute we get sun here we run out of our igloos and rip all our clothes off to frolic in the snow drifts. This usually results in us turning a lovely shade of blue.
3. How long does it take you to get ready to go out on the town?
A couple of seconds, just enough time to grab my keys and smokes and usually a pair of pants. I need a pocket for the keys and smokes.
4. Where would you go out-on-the-town?
How exactly do you go out-on-the- town? I can see going out of town, or going into town or even going somewhere in the town, but don’t see how you can actually go out-on-the-town? Unless of course you’re Godzilla (with apologies to George Carlin)
5. If you had the opportunity to have plastic surgery on one part of your body, which would it be?
I’ve often thought about a penis reduction. The wistful stares and sighs I get in the gym changing rooms are starting to unnerve me.
6. How often do you have a full body massage and by whom?
Do those ads in the back of the paper about Asian aromatherapy holistic services count?
7. Do you prefer The Body Shop, Bath & Body Works or Walmart?
Walmart, can’t beat their price for the jumbo size mane and tail horse shampoo.
8. How many bathing tools are in your shower/tub now?
Well there’s a mold encrusted lump that I think is soap and another that may be a wash cloth so two I guess.
9. Which bath soap/body wash do you prefer?
One without short curly hairs on it, but I’m not particular.
10. Are you blonde, brunette or redhead and is it natural?
What’s left is gray now and that’s mostly growing in places I didn’t think hair grew. I do remember it being brown a few decades back.
11. What is your skin type?
Blue weren’t you paying attention earlier. When it’s not blue it’s furry, I’m really an Ewok.
12. Boxers, BVD’s, granny, bikini or thong?
Commando, but only when wearing my kilt.
13. What part of the body of the opposite sex attracts you the most?
Boy I could get in trouble if I answered this honestly.
14. What part of the body of the opposite sex attracts you the least?
See #13
15. What do you consider to be your best physical asset?
Well the nice man in the leather chaps at the coffee shop this morning said I had a great butt so I’ll go with that. By the way what does “bottom mean?”
Well was that as good for you as it was for me? Thanks to Julie aka 42Enlish for hosting this and who is now I’m sure regretting that little idea after reading my contribution. For those who want to play too or at least read some serious replies click the linky thingy.
http://www.epinions.com/content_4433027204
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Epinions.com ID:
JAMES23
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Member: James Smith
Location: Toronto Ontario CANADA
Reviews written: 450
Trusted by: 222 members
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