Fireproof your marriage
Written: Nov 07 '08 (Updated Nov 07 '08)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Will make you think about why marriage isn't always about you.
Cons: Not the best acting in the world
The Bottom Line: For couples who are dating and those who are married. When you understand that marriage is not all about you then it will work.
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| spooon's Full Review: Fireproof |
In life there are a couple things that people hold sacred like marriage, and faith. Marriage is a unique one in that it takes 2 individual people to hold it together. Fireproof is about keeping marriages together and understanding what true love is all about.
Before going into a film like this there needs to be some common ground to understand what the characters are going through.
Do you believe marriage is a sacred union between 2 people or is it just an extended part of dating where you are free to leave at anytime? Can you in your own words define what Love is? In defining Love, is there a difference to unconditional Love to just plain Love? What in life is worth dying for? Children, Faith, Marriage, etc..?
Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains fame portrays a heroic fireman in a crumbling marriage. Cameron’s character Caleb Holt is well respected at his job saving lives yet can’t seem to get this personal marriage together with wife Catherine for 7 years. He lives by the firefighter code of “Never leave your partner behind”, but can’t seem to keep that true to his own marriage. Like all men, Caleb wants to be generally left alone and left to his own devices. He works hard so he shouldn’t have to at home. He puts in his time and wants to save for “his” dreams and in this film it’s his boat. Out of his marriage he wants most of all is respect from his wife. His wife Catherine can’t give him that respect due to the fact he doesn’t give what she needs in her marriage which is understanding and sensitivity. She like most women needs a man to listen to them and be sensitive. In both cases they tend to want something from their partner that they normally won’t get due to one crucial issue. Both want something before giving.
Neither character can understand the other because both are self absorbed to the “me first” attitude and if they can’t get theirs first they will then reject everything else. This vicious cycle continues until their marriage comes to the breaking point of yelling at each other and cracking. The divorce option gets brought up and the marriage goes towards a downward spiral.
Both in their own mind believe they are the justified one. They both feel wronged in their marriage and both feel there is nothing left with no love to give. They don’t have children but both do work and Caleb’s extremely dangerous job takes a toll on his needs. His physical needs get cut off of course due to not connecting to his own wife so he goes deeper into finding what pleasures him. Which include a boat and women on the internet. Of course Catherine feels rejected because of this situation and can’t stand the fact he seems to only care about getting his boat and pleasing himself online. Both are doomed to fall apart and separate.
Caleb’s father steps in to console his son and tells him he went through the same struggles and got through it due to a 40 day test. This is an actual book that the movie basis it’s plot line around. The only reason Caleb goes through the book is due to his love for his Father and the respect he gives him. Caleb’s parents are born again Christians and Caleb really isn’t having that. He knows there is a God but he’s not all into doing that and what does that have to do with his marriage? The 40 day challenge basically has Caleb doing 1 thing per day to strengthen his marriage and is backed up by Bible scripture. He goes through the first half and of course does it half heatedly.
The film strongly emphasizes finding out the true meaning of Love. You can kind of guess what will be the outcome of the film but it needs to be experienced first hand to really feel the impact of the movie. Have you really sat down and thought about what it means to Love someone? Having a Christian faith of course will help you connect to this film but I believe anyone who has loved anyone would benefit from this film.
Seriously ask this question, “Can you really love someone who doesn’t love you back?”
The film draws the conclusion that Caleb is going through this messy divorce and that how can he love his wife when she explicitly says “I don’t love you anymore”. The film then draws the similarities to Jesus and how people reject him yet he still loves them. The core message of the film is to that to truly understand what Love is, you must understand the Love Jesus has for you. He died for people who hated him to save them from the sin they don’t want to be saved from. In marriage, people don’t want to be saved as much as they want to satisfy their own personal needs. Marriages that work generally consist of major sacrifices that lead to “loving without want”. Not expecting something in return, but only giving because you love your spouse is a key ingredient to a strong marriage.
Caleb confides in his fellow firefighters that times have changed and he’s not even sure it’s worth saving this marriage. Catherine goes as far as saying she hasn’t loved Caleb in a long time. How do two people confess love for each other only to not even like each other in a short period of time? Caleb’s friend who had a failed marriage totally understands this and tells the secret to staying married to his second wife. It’s a working progress.
The film describes a marriage like someone getting a degree. When you first get married to your spouse you got a high school degree. Overtime you need to continue to learn more and more about your spouse to get up to get your Bachelor’s degree. The further you learn and place effort to learning more about your spouse will eventually land you a PHD. Just like in real life. It's not how many degrees you get but how you apply the knowledge you have obtained. How many people make the commitment to educating themselves about their spouse versus just living off the warm and fuzzy butterflies from getting married? If you don’t love your spouse more than you did when you got married your not growing together. In Caleb’s case, his love has diminished to the point where he pins his wife against the wall and looks like he's about to uppercut her in the jaw. That is of course the last straw for Catherine and she goes straight to wanting out and getting a divorce blaming everything on Caleb.
This film really caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting much and thinking it’s going to be another one of those trust in God and you will be better type films. My wife even tells me I’m like the Tin Man since I don’t cry very much. I cried 2 times and almost a 3rd time in this film. It really got to me. I’m not saying the acting is top notch or the special effects got me all emotional. Just taking a look at how Caleb was in the film shows a lot of what I have been going through. Selfishness is a common trait for men as they constantly need approval and respect just like Caleb. The homerun for me was “How can you love your wife who doesn’t love you when you don’t even love your God who died for you when you ignore him?” Christian beliefs aside, I felt deeply saddened to that a lot of my love is conditional. I love my wife more when she’s good to me. Can I show that same love if she treats me like dirt? If my love is truly unconditional it shouldn't matter how my wife treats me. I believe no man can love do this alone without a higher power. I realize I need more help than I thought.
I highly recommend this film to anyone who is married or thinking about getting married. Expectations of marriage are way off in today’s society. It’s a full time job the constantly needs attention. I believe anyone with an open heart will understand what Caleb goes through and why it took so long for him to stop rejecting the 40 day love challenge.
Facts
Instead of a fee for starring in the film, Kirk Cameron accepted a donation to his charity, Camp Firefly.Kirk Cameron will not kiss another women and had his wife stand in as a double for those scenes.In it's 2 weeks of release it has grossed 12.4 million in ~850 theaters. Budget was $500,000.
4 out of 4 stars
Recommended:
Yes
Movie Mood: Date Movie
Viewing Method: Other
Film Completeness: Looked complete to me.
Worst Part of this Film: Cast
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Epinions.com ID:
spooon
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Member: Lawrence Tam
Location: Sugar Land, TX
Reviews written: 30
Trusted by: 5 members
About Me:
Mechanical Engineer that teaches MLM business techniques.
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