Broad Selection, Beautiful Quality, and Bitter, Baffling Philosophies
Written: Jan 05 '09

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THE VICTORY OF VOCALIZATION
28 May 2008. My nerves taut, I waited for iTunes to open. It had never taken quite so long before-but then, perhaps I had never before been quite so impatient. If my little plan worked, I would be able to access a book that I had hoped to read for five years. I could write reviews of magnificent literary oeuvres, listen to the lilting talents of a multitude of narrators, and thoroughly enjoy every moment of my summer vacation. But if it didn't work...
But I mustn't think of that dread possibility. Frantically, I began to search the now-open iTunes program. There it was-a list of audio books! Now, if I could only locate the one I had purchased, select it, and...
"This is Audible." Never had a flat, professional voice sounded so melodic. The next moment, I was listening to a narrator from Zondervan Publishing as he skillfully added inflection to the written words of one of Jim Cymbala's celebrated books. My heart filled with joy as I realized that I had, for the first time in months, triumphed over technology. I had stumbled upon Audible.com in search of summer reading material, downloaded the required software, checked myriad boxes for the sake of customization, and flooded my heart with the poetic words of innumerable wordsmiths! During my seven-month membership, I have come to the conclusion that Audible, while by no means perfect, does offer an excellent selection of all things literary-and, ashamed to admit, some that are not.
IN THE DESPONDENT DESERT OF DECIMALS
Likely, if you enjoy reading as much as I do, you also despise anything mathematical with every fiber of your being, and some fibers that are not in your being. Personal experience has taught me that math majors generally live in engineering labs, while language lovers may most clearly be described as living behind a numberless book of poetry. N'er the twain shall meet. That said, if Arabic numerals make you ill, go and find someone who would be willing to break this statistical section into bite-sized pieces, advise you, and tolerate your impatient, "Let's get this part over with!". In either case, shed a few tears for the writer who is sacrificing poetry for the drab detail of discussing Audible's listener plans.
Of these, there are many. Perhaps the least expensive regular plan is AudibleListener® Gold, which allows subscribers one credit per month. Listeners may use up to six rollover credits to purchase books that "cost" more than one credit. In other words, if you want a two-credit copy of the complete Bible, wait a few months and you will be able to purchase it for less! However, the system of rollover credits is one that I have never before used, as most books are only worth one. AudibleListener® Gold membership costs $14.95 per month, which may or may not be advantageous. On one hand, if you use your $14.95 credit to purchase a $45 book, you have saved yourself over 60%. On the other hand, suppose you want to purchase a $5 speech; you would do better to use your one credit for something more cost-effective.
While AudibleListener® Gold suited my needs perfectly, more avid listeners might be interested in AudibleListener® Platinum. For $22.95 per month, listeners are provided two credits, with the ability to rollover up to twelve credits. Would I like this plan? Yes. Would my pocketbook crumble under the strain? Absolutely!
Do you have a need for knowledge-good, bad, and ugly? Would you, if you had no career and no education to attend to, take up permanent residence in the library and read everything from children's books to mysteries? If so, and if you trust Audible, you may wish to invest in one of the annual plans. AudibleListener® Gold Annual sells for $149.50, which you must pay up-front. As consolation, listeners are provided with twelve credits at once and the ability to rollover six credits. If this is not satisfactory enough, Bibliophiles may choose to purchase the AudibleListener® Platinum Annual plan. As you can likely surmise, this plan allows listeners access to twenty-four credits annually, with the ability to rollover twelve. Now, take a deep breath and attempt to remain calm while reading this: the AudibleListener® Platinum Annual plan is worth $229.50. This would work for me if I wanted only to read-never to eat, purchase clothing, or find shelter.
Each of these plans provides listeners with a wealth of other benefits. Listeners may be sent coupons for up to 50% off of certain audio books. Subscribers are granted 30% off of all audio books that are not purchased with credits, the ability to buy gifts for friend, a small number of free programs, and a free audio subscription to the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal. Although I never took advantage of the journal subscription, I am sure that it would be thoroughly beneficial to other subscribers.
Now for a little tidbit that I am sure Audible does not want me to reveal. Sorry, Audible, my readers need to know! If all of these plans seem too expensive, there does exist one other plan known as AudibleListener® Light. This plan costs only $9.50 per year and includes access to coupons and some free audio recordings. I actually discovered this as I was attempting to cancel my subscription. The automated customer service department requested that I select a reason for my account termination, after which this lovely little suggestion was presented me. Now my wallet and I may go dancing off into the sunset of literary luxury.
FROM ANNE OF GREEN GABLES TO ANNE RULE
Quite frequently, those mass merchandisers which seek to please everybody are able to satisfy very few. By selling "a bit of everything", many stores do not sell enough of one thing to please any particular audience. Not so with Audible. This online shop provides books in a multitude of genres including biographies of celebrities; artists' memoirs; a plethora of business texts; beloved American and British classics for children and adults; books of poetry; any number of comical works; historic, humorous, and literary fiction; treatises on health; history, both American and international; children's books; foreign language tutorials (including those for French, Greek, and Ancient Hebrew!); mysteries of all calibres, eras, and nationalities; true crime works; a vast selection of faith-based works; romances; science fiction; fantasy; self-development; sports; travel; and even newspaper subscriptions. Is your mind thoroughly boggled yet?
Sadly, there is not yet a section devoted solely to linguistic matters. Hence, Richard Lederer's works have not graced this site, and Non Campus Mentis is nowhere to be seen. Here, there is no fodder for those seeking to improve their writing skills and no mention of treatises on crafting the perfect poem. Help!
Certainly, there exist a number of methods by which to search for a title. A person my search by category' or he might type keywords, a title, an author, or even a narrator into the convenient box provided for such a purpose. In either case, a listener may then narrow down preferences by a number of criteria including release date, publisher, language, book duration, type of program (audio book, speech, etc.), and even abridgement status. While Audible has a large number of both abridged and unabridged titles, the vast majority seem to lie within the latter category. With this, I am quite satisfied, for why you would wish to spend your hard-earned money on abridged titles shall ever remain a mystery to me.
Within each category, the selection is broad and varied. I have the most experience within the Religion and Spirituality, Classics, and Kids and Young Adults categories, so I am afraid I cannot speak to other genres. However, I have seen that the number of available materials is constantly growing. At any given time, you may choose to refine your selection by materials produced within the past ten days, of which there are generally a great number.
On a random yet important note, Audible features a number of dramatized recordings and radio programs. From classic radio to Radio Theatre, and from dramatized versions of the Bible to skillfully-enacted television specials, those who enjoy something more grandiose than simple narration shall not be disappointed. Although I have had enough experience to know that these dramatic renditions are of excellent and professional quality, dramatizations of any kind are not my cup of tea-or, as the case may be, not my idea of literary luxury. If you enjoy them more than I do, however, know that you shall likely find what you are looking for.
Now for a quick rant that may at first appear off-topic. Hear me out, for there is a method to my madness. The Olive Garden features a Braille menu-an excellent step toward ensuring equality for all customers. However, diversity awareness ends when one considers the menu's pricing. At the top of each section, the editors proudly announce that "prices range from $3.95 to $8.05". Not helpful! Although I generally avoid the word "hate", I will suggest that I strongly dislike this practice. Yet-and this is where I shall continue with relevant information-I am about to perpetrate the same crime. Depending on the audio book, prices may range from $5 to $60. Those within the range of $5 and $15 are generally abridged, very brief in duration, or not full audio recordings. A recent message by Billy Graham, for example, cost only $10.46. As books increase in duration and/or calibre, their price increases as a matter of course. Although a book by Tommy Tenney and one by Donald Kraybill may both have a duration between six and seven hours, for example, Tenney's work costs over $34 while Kraybill's is closer to $20. Quite a difference, wouldn't you say?
Before I leave the subject of available titles, search methods, etc., let us examine one small yet significant factor in navigation. First, however, let us perform a brief analysis of Audible's target audience. Who listens to audio books?
"Those in search of a hands-free way of reading," you say. Very good. Move to the head of the class. But who else would be likely to seek out vocalized material?
"Oh! I know! Members of the blind and visually-impaired community!"
Excellent! You get a gold star. Now, let me tell you a secret. Do you know what members of the blind community dislike more than any other technological program? I can answer in one deadly phrase: FLASH CONTENT! Now, what do you suppose that Audible employs regularly as a source of "eye candy", site interference, and general irritation? You guessed it-Flash content! I am told that Flash movies may be off-putting to the sighted community, but simply because I would like the opportunity to rant in an open forum, allow me for a moment to discuss what they do to a person who may be using a screen-reader. When Flash content is present, the cursor moves fluidly around the page, landing anywhere I do not want it to land. If I have the audacity to click on a link, my screen-reader may malfunction altogether. Even if it remains in good working order, each page loads at the rate of a melting glacier. So, Audible representative, if you are reading this, I implore you with every ounce of literary charm I can muster: Please eliminate that frenzy of Flash movies!
FROM BEAUTY TO THE BEDROOM
I said my rant was ended. I apologize. In fact, I am fully aware that I have told a fibola-a minor miscalculation that would surely get me in trouble were it not for the fact that you, my dear readers, need to know what I know. With the exception of online stores that sell products geared specifically toward philosophical matters, merchants should make every effort to avoid any bias. Sadly, Audible does not seem aware of this policy.
On the home page, you will encounter a link entitled "Audible Kids". Children and sensitive readers will wish to go here immediately, for failing to do so will introduce young and old to all manner of questionable material. Now, I understand a person's right to read whatever he chooses. Certainly, Audible has a right to sell books under the heading "Erotica and Sexuality" if they so desire. However, I do not feel that they have a right to advertise such materials on every page. No matter where you click, whether it be on your member account or on Anne of Green Gables, there appears a series of links for various categories. Most of these are inoffensive: "Radio and TV", "Business", "Education", etc. Some, however, should not be displayed unless an individual is looking for them. These include "Erotica and Sexuality" and "In Bed with Susie Bright". Now, must everyone encounter this on every page? True, the children's section is free from this sort of advertisement, but there do exist some adults who would rather not see it either.
FROM MEMBERSHIP TO MASTERFUL METAPHORS
Aside from the length generally required for obtaining membership, the process is relatively free of difficulty. Listeners are required to select a user name and password, to indicate a listener plan if they wish to purchase material on a regular basis, and to provide credit card and billing information, including a telephone number. When I registered, they did not require a security code-a great relief to one who despises security codes as much as she loathes Flash content. Next, registrants are asked to select a device compatible with their downloads. I was easily able to select iTunes for my downloading preference; at present, my iPod is displayed as the device of choice each time I purchase a new title. I am not quite certain as to whether Audible's technology is universal in its settings, but products downloaded in iTunes are automatically programmed to remember the playback position-an advantage if you are listening to a ten-hour book.
In order to make full use of Audible's products, it is necessary to install Audible's downloader. I consider myself an average user of technology, but was able to install this with relative ease. Next comes the interesting part-downloading your items. Audible's books come in four formats. While Format I generally sounds as if it were transferred directly from an old record, Format II is a bit more bearable; it simply sounds as if it were transferred from a somewhat-worn cassette. Format III is excellent quality, but cannot be burned to CD. Although Format IV takes up the most space, it is certainly the best quality-thoroughly professional and with scarcely a defect. This format has the additional advantage of burning capabilities. However, I am afraid I cannot comment on Audible's burning ability, as I have never made use of this feature.
Once a book is purchased-either with credits or by credit card-a title may be downloaded immediately. If you would rather download it later, it will be available in "My Library" until you discontinue your membership. Depending on the book's size, it can take anywhere from five to ten minutes to download. In order to facilitate the process, books lasting over five hours are generally placed in two separate files at no extra expense. Others have suggested that the process is quite slow and, while it certainly is not as expedient as some may expect, I find the result worth the wait.
While we are on the subject of potential challenges, other reviews have suggested that Audible is unable to burn certain types of recordings onto CD, that downloads are often not successful, or that programs simply are not compatible with one another. I feel qualified neither to agree nor to disagree with these assertions, but know that Audible is compatible with all of the programs that I use from day to day. I happen to have Windows® XP, Internet Explorer 7.0, and iTunes 7.0. Perhaps Audible only works with certain programs; of this, I am not entirely certain. In order to make the best decision, however, I recommend that listeners first search for compatibility information on Audible's website.
FROM HARASSMENT TO THE HEART
As aforestated, Audible certainly cannot claim perfection. Its confusing jumble of Flash movies has a tendency to slow down the system and cause cursors to act like Mexican jumping beans-particularly when a screen-reader happens to be installed on the computer in question. Moreover, Audible's worldview may be offensive to some. Although they should sell whatever they please, Audible's representatives should see that certain objectionable material not be displayed on every page. Despite these qualms, however, Audible offers an extraordinary number of books in all genres for a reasonable price. Search features are up-to-date, and Audible is easily compatible with iTunes. For someone who frequently experiences technological difficulties, this is a high compliment. Narration quality is superb, and what customer service I have experienced was quite attentive. (Hurray for AudibleListener® Light!) So, then, the decision is yours. For the sheer quantity of available materials, I shall recommend this site. However, readers and listeners may wish to be aware of questionable content and poor organization. Now, time to start thinking of which Audible book to review first!
Recommended:
Yes
What product did you purchase or try to purchase? Audio Books
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Epinions.com ID: bethesdalily
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Member: Nicole Brunswycke
Location: Bethesda, of Course!
Reviews written: 146
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About Me: "My tongue is the pen of a ready writer." (Psalm 45:1).
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