Those Terrible TEENS!
Jan 06 '06
The Bottom Line Hold on to your sanity!
When I first became a parent I thought that after I got my children past those terrible two's I had the parenting game won. OH BOY, was I naive!!
Well, here we are several years since I thought I knew how to raise teenagers. Being both older and wiser I finally realize that if we haven't brought a teen into quasi-maturity by the time they are 15 they are destined to find that maturity well into their adult years. Let me explain why.
My 18 year old daughter decided to begin having sex at 15. Through out her childhood we had a close relationship and she promised me she would tell me BEFORE she had sex so we could get her on birth control. I even told her that condoms don't always work as one of her siblings was conceived while my husband was using a condom.
So of course, like most teens she had to do things her way and sure enough the condom broke. For the next 20 days we worried that she was pregnant. The conflicts became more intense. She thought she could raise a baby. I insisted that if she were pregnant she would give the baby up for adoption.
Thankfully, she wasn't pregnant and agreed to get on birth control. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning of problems we had with her.
She decided at 16 that she wanted to get her GED instead of a High School Diploma. We argued that point for 6 months and then we finally relented allowing her to get her GED because she refused to do her school work.
She did get a job during that time but relied on us for transportation. She wrecked our 2000 Cavalier on the way to work the morning of her 17th birthday. Thank God no one was hurt!
A few months later she informed us she was moving to another state to be with her boyfriend and go to college. Having gone through so many other fights with her I resorted to calling an attorney. He advised me that because she was almost 18 we needed to let her go.
Through many tear filled days I finally let her go. I felt like a failure as a parent. I told everyone during that time that if I knew teenagers were so difficult I never would have had children.
She has been in and out of state, visiting home last summer for a couple of months. She has had gainful employment and remarkably hasn't asked for one thin dime since she left home.
She hasn't started college yet and when she does it won't be easy for her because of the choices she's made.
Still. I am very proud of her. She doesn't do drugs or alcohol. She just wanted to grow up faster than I wanted her to.
Raising teens can be a nightmare. And guess what?? We still have two teenage girls at home. I think raising teenagers is a lot like riding a roller coaster. Some people keep their eyes wide open, knowing that the ride will be over soon and enjoying the sensations of feeling out of control. My husband's like that. Me? I always close my eyes tight and wonder if I'm going to survive the ride. I'll survive and then laugh at my teens when they themselves have teens.
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Epinions.com ID:
shekinah
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Member: Vicky Watson
Location: Trapper Creek Alaska
Reviews written: 84
Trusted by: 71 members
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