See France the Way the Locals Do: An Exchange Student's Experience
May 13 '06
The Bottom Line Being an exchange student is an amazing, difficult, heart-wrenching experience, but all worth it in the end
When I was 16 years old, I decided the United States just wasn't doing it for me. Although I had limited language abilities (other than my native tongue, English), I was still determined to move abroad. My parents supported me and I was off! The following information is meant to inspire those who want to do something different to do it, or to support a child who has a dream bigger than their own backyard.
I presented the idea of spending a year abroad before going off to college to my parents. They told me that if I did the research and figured out how to do it, they would be fully supportive. Of course, this was before the days of e-mail and the Internet, so I sent off many a letter via snail-mail with the help of my French teacher from high school to any and every student exchange program I could find.
I had my heart set on going to France even though I only had three years of high school French under my belt and was taking German instead of French at the time! Eventually, we found a good program that was what I was looking for- a true exchange student experience. For a fairly hefty fee, I was connected up with a family in Tours, France and bought my airplane ticket and got my passport ready to go.
I was excited to go right up until the time I went through security at Boston Logan airport- with my family waving at me through the glass wall. Then it hit me. I was leaving home to go to a foreign country where they spoke a foreign language and I didn’t even know the people picking me up at the airport. All I had was a small passport size photo of a blonde girl about my age. She was the daughter of the family that was hosting me. Was I totally insane? I felt a little panic inside me and for just a split second thought about pounding on the glass window to let me get back to my mom!!
But I was on my way. Delighted by the fact that I could order wine on the flight (at seventeen, nothing seemed cooler than this), I felt more excited than worried and started the first entry of a journal that was to be my best friend for the next 10 months.
Flying into Paris was when I really realized where I headed and all that it took to get me there- I was going to France!! I could see the Eiffel Tower from the airplane and I can’t really begin to explain the full range of emotion that went through me at the time. After going through customs, which was no more than pretty much flashing my passport (this was back in 1993), I was off to collect my luggage and head through the doors where strangers would be waiting to greet me. As I struggled with all me worldly belongings, I somehow knew exactly where to go and almost instantly recognized my new “host family”, even though I had never seen but the one small photo.
Driving the two and a half hours to a small village just outside of Tours, France, I felt like I was in a completely different world- and of course, I was! Even the air I was breathing felt different. It was just an amazing feeling- and an exhausting one. I was so tired, I think I drifted in and out of sleep for a few days!
I had a few weeks to play around before school started and then I would be enrolled in a private Catholic high school with my host sister, Marie. She was my age and was just wonderful. She took me everywhere she went and the whole family just accepted me and included me as their own, right from the very beginning. For this, I will always be grateful- words cannot describe. Especially since things would get harder before they got easier. A lot harder.
First, no one spoke English! I felt so trapped. I could not have an intelligent conversation! My pocket dictionary became my best friend and I never left home without it! I had also had my driver’s license for over a year, with a car to boot! My mother gave me pretty much all the freedom I could ever want and now all of a sudden, I had no car, no free reign and no way to express myself.
The language barrier was definitely the most difficult part of being in France, at first.
Then I started missing my family… and my friends… and my American way of life. For reasons I no longer remembered, I had given all that up. After three months, I was ready to throw the towel in and call it a day. I was in school six days a week from 8-5 and had no idea what was being said about 95% of the time. I called my mom only once every three weeks, and we would talk for a half hour, at the most. My dad called only a couple times and that was it. Letters were the only means of communication that I had with my friends and family back home. E-mail was pretty much non-existent, something I imagine now would make a world of difference, IM-ing and sending pictures and just sharing world events would have been a huge relief. As it was, I was buying a USA Today World Edition to keep up on current events back home.
One week in November, I had had enough. I called my mom sobbing hysterically and begged her to change my ticket to come home. I thought no one knew the troubles I was having, how much it was a struggle every day to communicate my thoughts and needs. But I was wrong. Somehow, the human race, regardless of languages spoken, has a way of understanding suffering. My host family did a few little things that made all the difference in the world- at Thanksgiving, they made a big poster saying Happy Thanksgiving and tried to find turkey (which they don’t have an abundance of, or great liking, in France) and make me a traditional American Thanksgiving dinner. They made an extra effort to get me involved in different projects and just kept me busy.
Something I learned about the French people, and of course this is a generalization, is that they may appear cool (reserved) on the outside, but they are very warm and giving, as are most people, if you give them a chance. This was probably one of the biggest lessons that I learned while I was abroad. It’s a nice feeling to know that I took away some of the most valuable lessons life will ever teach me, even when I thought I would die in a pit of despair and sadness.
After six months of being in France, I could finally think in French. It wasn’t overnight, but eventually, I started dreaming in French and I was able to speak without looking up most of the words in my dictionary. I could watch television and not get a headache. I was doing better in school didn’t feel like three weeks was too long to wait to talk to my mom (I still missed her, of course).
When it was finally time to me to go back home, France had become my home. I did not want to go! My sister came to visit me and while she was there, I became her designated translator. There were certain times where I would turn to her to translate something and just keep speaking in French without even knowing it!! Being bi-lingual has opened up many doors for me. It has helped locals to open up to me, even when being a tourist (my husband loves to go to Montreal and leave the talking to me!). In fact, being fluent in French has got me where I am today in my career.
That of course, sums up my experience in France way too generally, but you get the idea. The experience itself taught me so many life lessons that I use today, I can’t help but claim that this was an invaluable experience. France has a place that is deep in my heart. All the history that is there, on every street you walk on, every bridge you cross, it is something we just don’t have here in America. The culture that is so old, it’s easy for us to criticize the French, as we have so often in recent years, but one visit as a local, as a representative of the human race, anyone visiting France will realize that we all have the same basic needs and wants.
What does all of this mean to you? That there is a different way of seeing things, in every situation, but a there is nothing better than experiencing different places as the locals do. By living with a French family, I became accustomed to the late night, large dinners, full of bread and cheese and sausages and raw meat and all the pate you can imagine. I became used to greeting my friends with two air kisses without feeling pretentious. I came to appreciate public transportation and fountain pens. Even going to school six days a week made me at least realize how lucky we American kids are to be able to sleep in two days a week!
There are many ways to experience a different culture or country. Being an exchange student is just one way- and there are many ways to do that too! You can go as a group and basically tour the country with familiar friends, probably a ‘safer’ way to do things. You can visit a country as a tourist going off of Frommer’s guide books. You can backpack around and do your best to fit in with the locals- or not. In any case, however you decide to see other places is certainly up to you and your personality, but what I got out of this experience was so much more than just an appreciation for France and its culture. I actually gained a second family whom I hold very dear to me.
~*~This review is in part to honor my love of France and everything French, but also to honor Barbara (ifif1938) and her 400th review- a feat I will probably accomplish in, oh, about 5 more years here at Epinions. So join in and share your thoughts on anything Francophone, c’est si amusant, on ne peut pas dire non!~*~
~*~I would like to add an additional comment here- if this ‘review’ is off-topic, or deserves to be posted elsewhere, please let me know. I acknowledge that I did not give very many specifics, but this is a fairly general category to begin with. That being said, I would love any feedback, positive or otherwise! Thanks for sharing this very emotional and precious time with me, and again, thanks to Barbara for inspiring me to write this long overdue piece~*~
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.