An interview with Captain Jack Sparrow
Jan 28 '07
The Bottom Line I hope you enjoy this colorful interview with a colorful character.
Dolphinboy recently encountered the enigmatic, elusive, and famous, or is it perhaps infamous, Captain Jack Sparrow off the coast of Tortuga, in his new ship, The Golden Pearl, which looks suspiciously like a remodeled and renovated The Black Pearl.
Dolphinboy: Captain Sparrow, may I ask you some questions?
Jack Sparrow: (sighs) I really rather hope we were past all this.
Db: You can expect the public to be interested in you. After all, you are a very popular figure
Jack Sparrow: I did notice.
Db: I understand that you do follow current events. I have heard that you never met Saddam Hussein. If you had met him, how would you have greeted him?
Jack Sparrow: Hello, beastie.
Db How would you have summarized Saddam Hussein’s approach, while he held power?
Jack Sparrow: “Take what you can; give nothing back.”
Db: If you had been present at his execution, what would you have said?
Jack Sparrow: I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Db: If you had been the hangman, what would you have used, to insure a good, clean death?
Jack Sparrow: Human hair.
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: From my back.
Db: If Saddam Hussein, while he was in power, had docked his ship next to yours, what would you have said?
Jack Sparrow: Move away.
Db: And if he refused?
Jack Sparrow: Please move?
Db: If he still persisted?
Jack Sparrow: So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?
Db: If he answered with, “Make me!” how would you have replied?
Jack Sparrow: (draws a pistol) This shot was not meant for you.
Db: If he mistook your challenge for an amorous advance . . . ?
Jack Sparrow: It would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry...
Db: Would you have eventually shot him?
Jack Sparrow: I couldn't resist, mate…
Db: If you had been present at the execution, what would you have said afterward?
Jack Sparrow: Drinks all around!
Db: Do you think Hussein could have ever been swayed by diplomacy?
Jack Sparrow: You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest, honestly. Savvy?
Db: Saddam Hussein had sons. If they had lived, what would your advice to them have been?
Jack Sparrow: Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Our interview ended rather precipitously, with one final statement from Captain Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you...
[backs up and trips over ledge]
All quotes are, verbatim, from Captain Jack Sparrow.
Dolphinboy does hope to catch up with Captain Sparrow again, and do more interviews, on other topics of contemporary interest.
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dolphinboy
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Member: Chris McCallister
Location: The Great Lakes of Michigan
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About Me:
I am a psychologist, new author, and a reviewer on several sites.
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