To Dell With It
Apr 17 '07 (Updated Jan 07 '08)
The Bottom Line Notebooks recommended; tech support is beyond horrible. I would be very cautious about Dell.
From my blog at: http://replays.blogspot.com/:
Howdy everybody. Welcome back after a long time. I had near forgotten about my own blog for a long long time until something "interesting" enough happenned that prompted me to re-open this blog. As the title suggests, this is yet another Dell rant, if you have read the zillions of Dell-Hell rants already swarming in cyberspace. And each time, unbelievably, Dell Tech/Customer support manages to throw up something unique. So, hold on to your seatbelts folks...
Chapter 1: The beginning
It all started on a fine morning back in February this year. My trusty old Inspiron 700m, after having served me well for a good two years, decided to get hot under the hood. To make its presence felt more, it also decided to let out loud noises from the fan area.
No problem, methought (is that a word?). I just need to call Dell's award-winning tech support. So, I spent a good 15 minutes navigating through the voice-recognition software on to a rep. After explaining my problem, the rep informed me that since I had about a month left of my two-year warranty, they can pull the laptop into the depot and have it fixed. She gave me a "dispatch number" that I would have to give to the kind folk at DHL, who would then magically appear at my doorsteps with a box and take away my laptop to Dell. It struck me as a little odd that they would not give me a tracking number to track the box, but the rep said, "Oh DHL knows what this dispatch number is. You should be fine", or something along those lines. She gave me a number to call DHL.
Chapter 2: To ship or not to ship
Next call: DHL. But ooops!! They don't.... umm... know what a "dispatch number is"... could I give them a tracking number please. I figured this must be the resident idiot in DHL so I called back 3 more times. Each time I was told the same thing... so something made me think that maybe, just maybe the Dell rep was the true resident idiot. So, two days later, I called back Dell. Another labyrinth of voice recognition software and unbearable music later, DellRep #2 tells me he can after all have the shipping box sent to me.
So, two days layer when this mythical box still did not arrive at my doorsteps, I called back Dell Customer Support once more. This time DellRep #3 tells me: oops! the box was never shipped out and I should have used the dispatch number (why wasn't I surprised?). Apparently this matter was now so complicated, that it needed a supervisors help, whom he would connect me to. Ten minutes into holding the line for the promised supervisor the line went kaput! Dell hung up on me!! Those nincompoops!
Determined to get to the bottom of this, I spent another 10 minutes to get to DellRep #4, and after another long recourse of the problem, to his supervisor. When it came to a point that I kept saying DHL doesn't know what on earth a dispatch number is and he wouldnt budge from explaining how that is the only way things get shipped from Dell, I finally got him to conference-call with DHL. Finally, I did end up getting a tracking number from DHL. Deciding not to take a risk again, I physically went to DHL with the laptop and dropped it off with the tracking number. Before that, I carefully took out the hard-drive from the laptop since I didn't want the Robin Hoods at Dell Inc. to have a go at my bank accounts.
Phew... it took seven full days to just ship the damn thing to Dell... but the worst seemed to be over... NOT. Read on dear reader...
Chapter 3: The mystery of the missing adapter
About five days later, the laptop came back. Overjoyed at having it back so soon, I quickly proceeded to fit the hard drive in. But wait... something was missing. I quickly realized that in their extreme zeal to get my laptop back to me quick, the Dell techs had forgotten to put the hard drive adapter back in.
Now for the technically challenged, long story short, this adapter is what helps to connect the hard drives pins to the system board. I later found out that in the more recent models of the 700m they have been using a Fujitsu HDD which does not require this adapter... the Fujitsu is longer and its pins fit the system board directly. It just needs a securing bracket which looks like: http://www.impactcomputers.com/c7941.html to keep it in place. Its a piece of plastic and does not have any metal connections.
The one I had was a Western Digital hard drive which required this adapter to fit. This is known as the interposer card and looks something like http://www.impactcomputers.com/u6251.html.
Anyway, I digress. Unable to use the laptop, we called back Dell's tech support. Mind you, in between all the calls, countless emails were sent back and forth which generated little more than canned responses about how customer service was so important to Dell. After one failed try to get to a supervisor (got hung up on after holding for him to come to the line... business as usual at Dell), I finally got to talk to a rep who gave me a good 35 minutes of his semi-precious time to understand what part was missing. Mind you at that time, I wasnt sure what this adapter was called in Dell's lingo... so I tried to describe as best as I could. In essence I told him I needed an adapter that would connect the HDD pins to the system board.
Chapter 4: Another day in Stupidville
Mr Smart, after spending the said 35 minutes, assured me he had understood exactly what part was missing. He proceeded to dispatch this part immediately. Two days later, I got this in the mail... and guess what!! He had sent the plastic bracket. How on earth a dell tech support person could have imagined that I will be able to use a piece of frikking plastic to connect metal pins is above and beyond the grasp of my ken.
Positively furious, I shot off an email to Dell and then, after their usual stupid canned response, I called them up one more time. I tried to explain in as much detail as possible what was wrong. The rep that spoke with me couldnt do any better. She kept saying that the plastic bracket is the only thing I might be missing, to hell with the fact that plastic is a non-conductor of electricity. I asked her if she had opened up a laptop in her life. Nope... she said... she was consulting the hallowed manuals. Evidently, Dell had the manuals updated for the latest models of the HDD that shipped with the 700m but had no fall back options if a customer with an older model was having problems. Oh and did I mention the tech support on the other side of the phone is helpless and worthless without the right manual... oh well...
After an hour of frustration, she finally decided to pull the laptop back in again. Well, what could I do, I decided to let her pull it, but not before I had her conference with DHL for a tracking number... I'd be raving mad if I had to go through another week of Dell's gobbledygok of dispatch numbers.
Chapter 5: The Instructions
This time I decided to make this thing as idiot proof as possible... after all, I am sure Dell was making sure that they weren't recruiting chickens instead of human beings for their tech support. With that assumption, whats the most that I could do to convey the problem? Hmmmm... here's a list of what I did:
* Wrote a loooooooong letter explaining the issue. Essentially that my system came with a Western Digital HDD which needed an adapter to fit with the system board. I mentioned the model number and wrote in highlighted text that whoever is trying to fix this, please get hold of the same HDD model and try to fit it in the laptop... in tech parlance this is called a "sanity test". Unfortunately, in Dells dictionary, sanity is not a valid word... BEEP.
* To accompany this long and detailed instruction sheet, I attached two full size (A4 size) pics showing how the HDD was not touching the system board pins if I fixed it in place. I circled the area in thick red ink and wrote a short description. Essentially, I made a small lab-instruction type document for Dell so that barring a negative IQ, a human being would at least know what the problem is. Trust me when I say that my dad would know if I showed this to him... and he is a banker... from the 80s.
* To make it completely retard-proof, I wrote a shorter version of the problem, and put this piece of paper inside the HDD enclosure. The idea was that surely the tech would at the very least open that enclosure... and then BAM, the instructions would be in his face. Surely, he couldn't miss that!
After double- and triple-checking the instructions, I finally dropped it off with DHL... and crossed my fingers this time.
Chapter 6: Top three ways you know you have a negative IQ
Two days after I dropped it off, I checked my account on Dell's website. It was received and shipped back. Wow, I thought to myself, these guys are fast. I patted myself on the back for those instructions I had made... those must have done the trick. So I waited with baited breath until it arrived the following day. Lo and behold, they had included a list of things that they had fixed. I read through the list with my nose kissing the paper
1. system board (again!!)
2. keyboard assembly (what?!?)
3. Palmrest assembly (whoa!! where did that come from?!?!?)
No mention of anything even remotely connected (haha, pun not intended) to the hard disk!!! So here I was, almost two months into a "relationship" with Dell Tech Support and a totally unusable laptop. Did the tech guys look at the piece of paper inside the HDD enclosure, you ask. Hell yeah! And neatly folded it back and shipped it back with the laptop. I
dunno, maybe the techie folks hail from Timbuktoo and in Timbuktese, "hard drive" means "keyboard"... I dunno... I am just guessing. Or maybe, Dell hires retards with negative IQs to solve their technology problems. That would explain why one tech support person thought plastic can conduct electricity. I don't know that either... I am just guessing.
Chapter 7: Role reversals
Tired and no longer amused, and two more emails later, I called my favorite number in the world... Dell Tech Support! This time, after one set of DellRep and his supervisor later, my case got "elevated" to the customer resolution department. One Ms Reeti promised to call me back within the time frame I gave her. Despite giving her a 1 hour time frame, she managed to get my voice mail 40 minutes after that time (when I was in a meeting). It was only when I emailed her and a feedback email-address saying that I wasnt amused, that she called me back the next day at the given time.
I spent another one hour of my time with her. Mind you, this resolution team, unlike Dells regular customer support, only works normal business hours... which is also normal business hours for me... which meant I was wasting my own work-time speaking with these idiots.
Anyway, so I decided to switch roles for sometime. For the life of her, Reeti could not figure out which part was missing and wanted to call the laptop back in again. I said, hell no... I'd be damned if I ever let you donkeys touch my laptop again. Just send me the missing part and I will fix it myself.
With her on the line, I went on a google-spree to locate what part might be missing. Reversing roles, I now began to tell her part numbers and told her to check if those part numbers were compatible with my laptop. Interestingly, none of these parts were available on Dells website... I was searching through third party vendors to locate the numbers.
A full 90 minutes later, I zeroed in on what I thought looked like the adapted I had in the laptop when I had shipped it the very first time (seemed so long ago!). This is the interposer card, U-6251 (link above). So, I told her to please find that part and ship it. She said she will ship that and, to be safe, she will also ship every part associated with the HDD including
* a new HDD (uhmmm... why?)
* a HDD panel door (one for my doggie?)
* another plastic retainer bracket (didnt I just spend 1 month telling you I do not need that?)
* a new system board (naaaaaaaa.... not again!)
Too tired to drill sense into her, I told her to just send whatever the hell she wants as long as the U-6251 is in there somewhere. Sure enough, two days later I get two boxes full of Dell goodies. I identified that interposer card, shoved it in the HDD enclosure, clipped the HDD in place... and... voila, my laptop was alive again. I packed up the remaining useless things Reeti had shipped me and shipped it right back. Thankfully, no dispatch number issues this time.
Epilogue
I spent close to two months with Dell. About 20 hours went listening to the mad banter that is their tech support. About 10 hours went in prodding them via email, writing lengthy instructions sheets and making an idiot-proof document for them. It took them all this time and they still could not figure out what went wrong.
I called Dell and asked them two things:
1. Could they find out why the tech guy changed my palmrest and keyboard?
2. Would they compensate me for the time and productivity lost, mental harassment, actually providing them tech support rather than the other way round... or, at the very least, my Verizon airtime lost in speaking with the idiots they call tech support agents.
Their answer to Question 1. was "we dont know". Their response to Question 2. was an offer for a $100 coupon to be used for buying another Dell product! Haha, it was so funny, I could cry! They did offer to replace my 700m with a used laptop of similar configuration. Why they would do that is beyond me.
And today, two weeks after managing to plug my HDD inside the laptop, its making that wierd noise again... hmmm... let me see... where's the Dell tech support number again?
What you have just read represents about 60% of the frustrations I had to deal with. The remaining 40% are made up of small idiosyncracies of Dell tech support that would make this story unbearably longer. I have been a Dell customer for long... three of my laptops have come from them. Fortunately, I hadn't needed to endure their tech support before this incident. Normally my next laptop would also have been a Dell... but after this, umm, unpleasant experience, suffice it to say that I will look elsewhere.
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Epinions.com ID:
somdeb
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Member: Somdeb Majumdar
Location: San Diego
Reviews written: 3
Trusted by: 1 member
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