Alice, part six
Sep 24 '08
The Bottom Line Copyright 2008 David MacDonald
What Alice didn’t know was that the word about Susan had already bounced around from student to student. It should have been obvious, however. At least a few students had seen the marks Susan drew across her skin. Of course, those students were going to tell their friends, and word would get around.
Brittany eventually heard the story herself, including the part where Mrs Prouse tried to intervene. Naturally, thought she. It seemed like she got herself involved with the lives of a few of the students.
In truth, Brittany knew that was the only thing to do. Susan was clearly upset to the point of willing herself to self-injury. But what Brittany thought, what Brittany could not yet utter to her friends who relayed the story to her, was that Mrs Prouse - or, Alice, as her dad would call her - was possibly trying to overcompensate, by being some sort of do-gooder to make up for her successful attempt at embarrassing this poor young girl on Sunday morning. Hey, look at me, Brittany, I’m not a total skank! I’m more than just some cougar out looking for a good time.
Instead, Brittany just laughed and said to her friends that she wondered if Susan was going mad because of Mrs Prouse’s teaching methods. Teenagers were often very cruel. But her friends laughed with her, so Brittany was suitably distracted before her guilt from her own cruelty had a chance to set in.
Alice hadn’t even thought about Brittany much today. Susan was the immediate worry. The principal had called Susan’s parents, and left a message on their answering machine. She was discreet - she merely stated that she wanted to talk with the parents about Susan. Although leaving out the most critical information would be far from a relief to parents who may never have had phone calls from teachers or principals about their daughter’s experience in school.
Alice walked the hallway just as the classes were ending for the day. She saw Brittany and her friends among the crowd of students carrying their books and themselves to the buses. Brittany turned her eyes towards her, as if she were glaring at her. Alice tried to give out a grimace of some sort, to at least acknowledge the young woman. She wasn’t quite unembarrassed enough to give out a natural, easy expression as if nothing had happened.
“Mrs Prouse,” Brittany said. “Is Susan okay?” Brittany was genuinely concerned, thought Alice, who had no idea she had been laughing about the damaged soul earlier.
“You know I can’t get into all of that,” Alice said. “But ... I’m sure she will be all right.”
Brittany looked at her, unconvinced of Susan’s apparent condition. “Isn’t she in pain? She must be.... if she did all that to herself.” Brittany could not imagine why someone would go through such a horrible effort.
Alice sighed. “That’s something... she has to deal with herself,” she whispered. She wanted to touch Brittany on the shoulder, to give her some sort of comfort.
“I see....” Brittany said.
Brittany’s friends were hovering nearby. “If you didn’t show up, I’m sure she would have kept doing it. She must have been doing it right in the dressing room..... yuck.” said Brittany’s friend Veronica.
“No... it was nothing like that. Don’t believe everything you hear...” Alice said. “Just... please let it alone. She wouldn’t appreciate stories being told about her....”
“Sorry....” Veronica said quietly.
“Have a good day, girls,” Alice said, as she continued on her way. Brittany, Veronica and the other students in the group began to walk to their buses with a heaviness in their steps they hadn’t exhibited moments ago.
“What is she talking about?” Veronica asked. “She was right there. She obviously saw what Susan was doing.”
“You know Susan wasn’t cutting herself right there in front of everyone,” said another friend in the group, Janet. “That’s what Mrs Prouse meant.”
“That’s what she said, anyway,” Brittany said, with a hint of a growl in her voice. “And you know she’d never deliberately *hide* information. Especially if it was important.”
“You sound *so* much like Mrs Prouse’s best student who will do anything to get in her good books,” Veronica mocked. She and Janet laughed.
“Hey, I’m just saying. Why would Mrs Prouse lie? Why would she hide anything? There’s no reason why she would ever do that.”
No, there’s no reason why she would wait until somebody stumbled onto the secret one early Sunday morning.
*
It was the mall where Alice first saw her.
Alice didn’t feel like cooking anything one late Thursday afternoon, so she went to the Confederation Court Mall downtown and went to the upstairs food court, which included one booth which sold sandwiches, wraps, soups and the like. Two women were already waiting for their meals when Alice arrived.
She hadn’t been paying attention to the strangers’ conversations, until a very familiar subject distracted her from her surveillance of the menu.
“.... Brittany last night,” was the portion of the sentence Alice had heard, as spoken by the woman with the dreary strands of orange hair.
“So... do you and your ex get along?” asked the other woman.
“I try to get along with him. I do my best. He’s not a bad person. He just never... put much effort into anything. He certainly never did so while we were married... and even now... I don’t know....”
Thomas was never mentioned by name, as if he wasn’t worthy of a specific identification.
He was just a ‘he’ - an indistinct identity, carried by a person who made himself indistinct during the course of a partnership.
Alice felt uneasy, as uneasy as she did any time Thomas made reference to this woman. Thomas would draw his ex-wife in cutting strokes, but Alice couldn’t quite see the resemblance between Thomas’s perceptions and the subject of his inspiration.
Janice continued to speak as she picked up her ham wrap and the other woman her bowl of soup. They seemed to drift off into other topics, but Alice wasn’t quite sure. Perhaps they were still speaking about Thomas or Brittany. Brittany - the girl who always seemed one step removed from her father, and indeed, everything around her, as if she always wanted to be somewhere rather than where she was, including when she was at her father’s home on the weekends.
Alice wanted to hide, in case Janice’s eyes caught a glimpse of her. Alice instinctively turned her face away when Janice happened to look in her direction as she and her friend looked for another table. But of course Janice had never met Alice before, and had no clue as to who she was.
Alice suddenly didn’t feel like eating, not here. She told the young woman at the counter that she had changed her mind. She didn’t want to remain and find herself staring at that woman as if she were a potential enemy. It was beneath her to feel that way - after all, Janice wasn’t an enemy, and Alice had no reason to become one herself.
She didn’t want to approach Janice, as she was chewing into her half-eaten ham wrap, and tell her that I, Alice, was able to tolerate in Thomas the things that you couldn’t stand, the things that made you walk away and break up a family. It’s not as if Alice were ever able to even tolerate one minute of marriage and family, so what did she know?
Alice hoped she wouldn’t have to see Janice again, but it wasn’t too long later when she noticed the ex once again, this time in one of the clothing stores.
Alice was hovering around the edge of the store space when she saw the woman, who was stamping new price tags on to the old tags already attached to the clothes. The new prices were surely lower, in the hopes of moving the drab and boring stock.
The first thing Alice thought was how much money this woman was making? Even if Janice were the manager, there was no way she was making very much, and she had two kids for much of the week, unlike Thomas, who worked in a construction firm and lived in a relatively nice home.
Janice’s expression was weary, if it were a sound it would be consistently monotone. She obviously could do this job in her sleep, and possibly she has.
Then the phone rang, and Janice reached over to pick up the receiver.
“Hello...?”
As she spoke, Janice turned her body around slightly, so all Alice could see was the side of her head and a slight curve of her cheek. She could only hear Janice’s voice as a series of murmurs.
Alice quietly walked around a couple of the racks, trying to look as if she were her on purely business purposes. Even as she found herself a few feet closer to the speaking woman, she still could not discern what was being said. Alice merely attempted to suspect what was being said due to the length of the gaps in between Janice’s sentences.
Soon Janice hung up, her hand carelessly slapping the receiver down onto the phone. She ran her hands through her hair as if she were brushing away the filth of the previous conversation. Janice had hoped to recollect herself, as she walked from the counter, and then noticed the tall, short-haired woman with the glasses.
Janice gave a smile which, even through the dreary expression, was gentle and warm. She obviously tried very hard not to remain in the fog of despair. “Hi, can I help you with anything?” she asked Alice.
But Alice was rather nervous. “Oh... no, no. I’m just looking around.” The truth was that Alice had already purchased a pair of pants and some shirts a few months ago and had no need for new clothing right now.
“No problem,” Janice said. Alice noticed that her back was slumped a little, as if she couldn’t be bothered to stand up straight and proud. The woman turned around and went back to her repetitious duties.
“Tough day, huh?” Alice asked.
“Oh yea... we’re putting the sale prices on - so I have to go through every item in the store. I’m almost finished, thankfully.”
Alice knew there was a fear of just getting too curious over something which wasn’t any of her business. But Janice gave her an assist. “And.. my ex is bothering me while I’m working...” she sighed. Janice didn’t appear bitter - she was rather dismissive as if it were just another nuisance to be dealt with.
“He hadn’t done that in a while, which was good. But he’s upset now because my son needs some new clothes for the summer... he’s a growing boy after all. I am hoping he will help me out...”
“You mean... he’s not.”
“Well, he just makes a show of it. Oh, I can’t afford every little thing, blah blah. But eventually he caves in and follows through. I think he just does that to give me a hard time... he’s just working through some guilt and anger issues, or something....he thinks he can just pretend his past doesn’t exist!” she laughed.
Alice started to think Tina was right when she observed that Thomas seemed to think he was entitled to everything.
“Oh, I’m sorry for getting into all of that.... I’m forgetting I’m talking to a complete stranger!” laughed Janice, who felt a bit embarrassed.
“Don’t worry,” said Alice, who was shaken up enough to place her hand on the rack for balance, although apparently Janice hadn’t noticed. “I... I should probably go anyway. Thanks for your help....”
The only help Alice got was in realizing that Thomas’s feelings may not have been honest as they first appeared to be. Why hadn’t she cooked her own meal tonight; then she wouldn’t gotten herself into this mess.
*
“Were you listening to the radio today?” Nancy asked Alice during the lunch period Friday afternoon. The two teachers were walking the school grounds while some of the students were scattered in various groupings around the property.
“No. What, did I miss the big news event of the year?” Alice asked. She still had her classical CDs in her player and hadn’t been in touch with the real world, at least not while driving the car, in the past few weeks.
“Big drug bust on the other end of town,” Nancy said. “Awfully disappointing for all the kids wanting to get the good stuff.”
“Were any of our kids involved,” Alice asked.
“I doubt it... but I’m sure some of that product got into a few of their hands. Pretty typical around here... there’s a couple of pot dealers who loiter around. Walk a hundred feet or so...and you’ll find them. There’s a little network going.
“I never recognized them.”
“Probably not. They’re only there if you’re looking for them....”
“The police obviously found some of what they were looking for...”
“Yes....” Nancy said, without emotion. “Changing the subject... what ever happened with Susan?”
“I don’t know. When I sent her home that day, she must have decided not to come back. Maybe she just needs a break, I don’t know. The principal and the guidance councilor have been dealing with the situation, anyway - I doubt Susan’s going to kill herself, but self-harm of any kind is not good.”
“No....no it’s not....hopefully she’ll get the help she needs.”
“This job is way too emotional sometimes.”
“That’s why you just can’t care so much about it, Alice.... you can’t get upset over every outburst those kids make. They’re immature. If they don’t grow up now, then they’ll never grow up. It’s their problem... we’re just glorified baby-sitters, paid for by the government.”
“I never had that kind of attitude toward this profession when I was younger.”
“Neither did I, Alice.... age will do that to you sometimes. Boredom creeps in and your heart is no longer into it....”
Alice had already harboured doubts about her profession, but Nancy’s attitude bordered on sheer lack of gravity. Nancy had long ago dismissed the importance of her job; she merely stood in front of students and regurgitated information from textbooks.
“.... so will I actually see you in the fall?” Alice asked. “Or are you going to be on permanent vacation?”
“No, I’ll return. There’s little fear of that - I’ll never leave this place no matter what I say about it.... it’s my life. It’s what I always wanted to do. That will never change.”
*
There once was a time when Sunday was considered a day of rest for many people, and not only for the ones who devoutly went to church. Even the rest of the world would use Sunday to lie around the house, have a barbecue, or just take a leisurely afternoon drive. They had to - there was no other choice, because all of the malls and other places offering wondrous merchandise were all legally obligated to close.
Things have changed, and now Sunday is almost like every other day, that’s if you’re either one who’s desperate to purchase a kitchen faucet on that day, or if you’re the retail associate doomed to sell that faucet to that impatient customer. For Alice, however, Sunday never changed. The students weren’t required to go to school, and she wasn’t required to teach them. So she could still enjoy that day of rest.
And she was able to convince Thomas that they ought to go somewhere, away from the city. Alice suggested the two take a drive to the Western part of the Island, maybe see some of the beaches, or maybe the lighthouse at West Point.
The idea, unspoken, was that by traveling to a territory neither she or Thomas set foot on, they will be escaping the details of their current lives. Or more accurately, Alice hoped she could forget the little nagging details that lay deep within the fine print of what was meant to be a frivolous affair.
Thomas agreed to drive his car to their destination. The further they were from Charlottetown, the more relaxed they seemed to be. The wide open country spaces were calming.
“It’s really nice over there,” said Alice. “Have you ever seen the lighthouse?”
“No. Most of my construction work only takes me as far as Hunter River, North Rustico, perhaps, but that’s about it.”
“I bet you haven’t even been west of Summerside!” Alice smiled.
“Probably not. What’s the point?”
“Well, now you have the opportunity to see something new today!”
Alice was the one giving directions, of a sort. It wasn’t as if Alice had been to this part of the Island much recently however, and she wondered if perhaps a map would have been sufficient when they later found themselves on a few country roads they hadn’t planned on driving.
“Do you actually know where you’re going?” Thomas asked, pretending to sound frustrated. “Or is this just a wild goose chase?”
“Hey, it’s not like we’re miles away from anything. We can just ask someone how to get there.”
“We’re Islanders lost in our own Island.”
“Sad, isn’t it, Thomas?” Alice laughed.
They kept driving along the road, its pavement cracked from years of use. Some of these country roads were rather inconsistent in quality. Although one could argue the main highways on Prince Edward Island were also lacking.
“Eventually we’ll see water,” Alice said. “We have to.”
“If not, then maybe this wasn’t really an island after all? And we were all lied to like we were about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?”
The car drove over the top of a hill, and the two could see that the shore indeed existed. “Great! At least we know we’re getting close...” Alice said.
It took another 20 minutes for the two to arrive at West Point, and when they arrived they were among the other half-dozen groups of people who already staked their claim to this tranquil part of the Island.
The air and water temperature was still rather chilly for anyone to take a swim. But a few people were willing to walk in their bare feet over the cool muddy sand at the edge of the coast.
Alice and Thomas stood at the edge of the walkway between the dunes, and watched the waves as they skimmed along the sand.
“What do you think?” Alice asked.
“Nice,” Thomas said, after a few seconds of wondering what kind of compliment he could give to sand and water.
“It’s not quite the same, though. The erosion’s really changed everything in the past few years, I’ve heard. In a few years, the lighthouse will probably fall into the ocean!” she laughed.
“If that happens they can give us a call and we’ll build a new one. I’m sure the contract would keep food on my table for the next year or two....”
“There’s always an opportunity, is there?” Alice asked.
“Sure. Why not?”
The two started to walk on the beach, adding to the trails of footprints along the mud. They walked a long piece, as if they were determined to reach that elusive horizon many kilometres away. But eventually, they turned around and retraced their steps.
“We drove quite a piece just to walk over a beach,” Thomas said.
“Well, what’s wrong with that?” Alice laughed.
“Oh... nothing.... just rather amusing, that’s all. The price of gas is going up again, you know....”
“Oh well, I’m a teacher. I’m sure you feel I can afford these long trips anyway, so don’t sweat it.”
Alice realized she would have probably just been as happy if she had went on this Sunday drive with someone else, or even by herself. She would have probably just had a conversation with herself - a running commentary inside her head.
Thomas didn’t seem to appreciate just being with a friend and enjoying nature. He probably would appreciate nature better if he watched it at home on the Discovery Channel. No wonder his first marriage didn’t work out.
Or was his subtle cynicism and barbed remarks a result of that marriage? She wouldn’t know - if she were to ask him the question, she’d only have his word to go by.
When the two arrived at the parking lot, Alice heard a voice which sounded vaguely familiar. “Hey, Alice!”
Alice turned her neck to the left, to see a woman approaching her. Alice recognized the face, or she thought she did. But the longer she thought about it, she realized the memory was incomplete.
“I haven’t seen you in a long time,” the woman said. “Still teaching in town?”
“Yes... yes, I am.” So this woman knows my profession, she thought.
“Still at the same high school? Readying for another gradation?”
“Yes.... so... so where are you at?” Alice asked. Safe question. Could provide a multitude of possible answers.
“Still in Ellerslie Elementary,” she said. “They’re nice kids there. Really, all of the kids on the Island are nice kids. They come from good homes and good families and there’s little bad influences.”
But of course there’s bad influences. They just don’t fully corrupt the child until high school, when some of them act out and start to cut themselves or commit some other awful act.
“You’re right. There are a lot of good kids around here,” Alice responded. She wasn’t going to talk about the troubled kids during this lovely late spring day.
“Anyway, this must be your husband,” the woman said.
The couple laughed politely. “No, no, not quite,” said Alice. “We’re just friends.”
“Just friends, huh? Do your spouses know?” teased the woman.
The woman was clearly married. She was clearly one of those women who married young, who did what Island society expected of her. She didn’t know anyone her age who wouldn’t have been paired off by now, and wouldn’t have automatically expected someone in her early 40s not to ever be paired off with a spouse.
“No. No, it’s nothing like that either,” Alice said, laughing, her skin blushing.
“Anyway, I’m sure I’ll see you again sometime,” the woman said. “I hope you get to see West Prince again.”
“Sure....” Alice said, as the woman walked back to her car with her husband and teenage kids.
“Who was that bold woman?” Thomas asked, smirking.
“Oh.... um, just someone I know. Someone I saw years ago... somewhere.”
“Somewhere? Sounds like you don’t want to tell me.”
“It’s not that. Thomas, I completely forgot her name.” Her voice cracked out of frustration. “She knew my name and talked to me like we were old friends, but I couldn’t even think of her name or where I seen her. I was trying to ad lib my way out of possible disaster here!”
“Well, I’m sure she doesn’t recall everyone she’s ever met before. Or maybe you really are getting old. I think you should retire before you start teaching your students that two plus two equals five point six and that the sun revolves around the earth.”
“She’s probably just as old as I am anyway. She may forget who I am next time we bump into each other...” Alice said.
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
DavidMac
|
 - Top 500 |
|
Member: David Macdonald
Location: Prince Edward Island
Reviews written: 612
Trusted by: 109 members
About Me:
Alice, a story in nine parts, posted on Sept 24, 2008 - http://www.epinions.com/content_5241348228
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.