Three Day Pork
Jan 05 '01
Picking your Meat
Anything works. Basically, a hot veggie broth bath cooks down the meat to shreds and the broth is reduced to a concentrated gravy. Similar to Barbacoa (Beef cheeks and tongue), the meat becomes so finely shredded and moist, that it simply dissolves in your mouth.
Of course you've already figured out that is posted in the wrong area. In fact, the correct area doesn't even exist anymore (Quick Meal Recipes). Oh well, I've already wasted enough of my (employers) valuable time writing this thing - so i guess I’ll just waste some of yours too. Let the NR cavalcade begin...
This is a meat dish. Start with a 7lb pork butt and couple pounds of pork necks. The roast should be less than $2 per pound and the necks should be less than $1 per pound.
We can Make it, Baby
Your pot should be big enough to hold twice as much volume as the roast itself. Start by filling the pot ¾ with water – and place on high heat. And a bit of salt, and as the water begins to warm, add the entire pork butt. No trimming – No slicing – No cubing – Nothing. As the pot begins to boil the “butt fat” will produce a surface foam. Skim it off and toss it. Keep it cooking pretty heavy until the foam subsides. Then, add in “a bunch” of small cooking onions (I use about 3lbs for a 7lb roast). The onions can be left whole or halved, just be sure to leave on their papery wrapper. Onion skins impart a nice golden hue to the broth and substantially enhance the flavor. Do the same with several bulbs of garlic and maybe even a couple of chilies – and top off your pot with more water.
The Dance of the Pork Butt
The mixture needs to stew at a modest boil. This will help keep it from boiling over, but also allow you to leave the kitchen for several hours at a time. Time to time, give it a stir and add more water when necessary. Don’t be rough either, the roast needs to stay whole. Other than that – just let it cook.
Oh, and there’s one other vital thing; tunes. As an herb or a spice, music too will impart a flavor to your meat. Pick out something you’d think it like, and play it at the appropriate volume. Your meat will bask in both the vegetable nectar and whatever aural sweet it’s immersed in.
1st Stage Separation
After 3 or 4 hours (and before the roast starts to break up) you’ll need to separate the goodies from the fodder. First, remove the roast to a plate. Then, strain the liquid to remove the extraneous debris from your stock. The onions and garlic might look rather fresh, but rest assured, that cooking cycle has leached even the last flavonoid from its interior.
This can be a rather delicate undertaking. Having (on several occasions) burnt myself with the splatter of the scalding hot, fat infused slop, I can readily attest to this. This is a way I’ve found that allows me to separate the broth while simultaneously drunk, fully naked, and half dancing (you still have the music on, right?).
Place a larger pot in the sink and place a large-holed strainer in the pot. This will allow you to pour the whole batch of the slop into the strainer in one quick dump – alls you’ll need is a couple of oven mitts. My strainer fits perfectly into my stew pot, so once I dump the slop, I can immediately transfer the strainer back to my stew pot. Next, mash the remnants of the slop to squeeze out as much of the juice as you can (and pour it in the larger pot). The slop, now effectuate and benign, is ready for a proper burial.
Next, you’ll need to clean your stew pot (all that cooking will have no doubt caked its sides, and we need to start fresh) and sieve the remaining broth into it. I say sieve because this is where you remove the bulk of the little nasties. And pork is notorious for its nasties. The resultant broth will be golden brown, delicately smooth, and loaded with fat. This, in essence, completes Day One.
Decision Time
Now, you could toss that roast back into the pot and cook it some more. Or, you could just throw the whole deal into the fridge. It all depends. You see, I lied. Actually, Three Day Pork can be cooked in just two days – this is your reward for faithfully reading this anything-but-quick meal recipe. What you want to do is skip ahead to the section marked Simultaneous Double Separation. Just don’t tell any one.
2 cups - Mustard Seed
2 cups - All-purpose Martha White Flour
8 lbs - Mississippi Navy Beans (quartered)
4 cups - Italian maraschino capers (peeled)
1 gal - Apple cider Vinegar (gourmet)
5 oz - Crème Fresh Extract
4 oz - Unsalted Cashew Peanut Butter
1 - Outtie belly button
1 - homemade pie crust
Start by placing one caper in each nostril and one whole Mississippi Navy Bean in your navel. Set on the counter and kick the cupboards with your heals. Fold all ingredients (except the cider vinegar) into a mixing bowl and whip into (what I like to call) a fuzzy froth. Start drinking the cider vinegar. Place mixture in pie crust and bake in 500°F oven until the surface reaches a delicate jet black sheen or you finish the vinegar (whichever takes longer).
Simultaneous Double Separation
The broth goes into the fridge. Several hours later, the fat will congeal to the surface. This will easily be removed with a spoon. Discard. The roast should break apart rather easily along its “fat fault lines”. These fault lines are usually the weakest part of the roast and usually travel along the grain of the meat. I said, along the grain. This is critical. The meat must be separated with your hands – no knives, ever. Remove the remaining fat and bone while leaving the meat chunks as big as possible, and, proceed.
Having now skimmed the fat off the top of the broth, throw it back on the stove, add some more water, and toss in the pork. Once again, heat to a nice modest boil. If your going off to work, reduce the flame to just a whisper of a simmer. If the flame is low enough, a full pot like this can be left unattended for as long as 8 or 10 hours. Otherwise, keep that pot cooking and give it little stir every 20 or 30 minutes. And keep that music playing as you reduce, reduce, reduce.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
When the mix starts to thicken (just some standing liquid on the surface), and the meat is properly stringy, it’s time to make the caldron. Reduce heat to a good solid simmer. Get ready, because now, this baby is gonna need a sitter. By slowing moving the meat to the outer part of the pot, you can eventually hollow out a hole all the way to the bottom. With the backside of your mixing spoon, pack the meat against the side and squeeze out as much juice as you can (this will increase the surface area by which the liquid will evaporate). Continue to reduce the liquid until it reaches about 1/10th the size of your caldron. Check the consistency by “breaking down the caldron” and mixing it back in with liquid. It’s done when the mix doesn’t readily leave puddles. Voila.
Slap some Spice on that Meat
Obviously, adding spice is subjective. But it’s also organic. By the time this dish is done, I’ll have no doubt added a dozen different spices – easy. Hotter spices like Cheyenne pepper or a Habanera sauce doesn’t have to be scary, though. Cooking degrades the spiciness, so even the hottest spices will cool with enough simmering – just add them earlier and taste-test it more often. Spices I typically add are Curry, Turmeric, Onion Powder, Garlic, Creole spice, Fresh (fine-) ground pepper, Chipitole sauce(dark and musty), Jerk sauce(tangy), Mole(perfect), and whatever. Hell, horseradish even works. Just keep tasting it as you go.
Bon Appetite
My favorite way to serve it is Mexican style. Lettuce, tomato, avocado, onions, grated cheese… You can serve it up omelet style for breakfast… Serve it on buns for a real killer Bar-B-Que... Put a dollop in your Cheerios... Put some on your little sister…
What you get is so sumptuous, so explosively juicy, so savory and chewy, it’ll work you over no matter how you serve it. Or, you can store it. The fridge can keep it for four or five days and the freezer can keep it for weeks.
Vegetarian Substitutions
Replace meat with soy and skip any step that has to do with fat. Substitutions can also be made for the likes of repulsemonkey, spacefrog, Horswispr, carcharias, and even milkbaby.
Finally, and somehow, I feel I must dedicate this dish to cerdo.
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