Is It Too Late To Be Friends?
Mar 03 '00
Dealing with divorce. Me personally, I've never had to do it. I'm fortunate enough to still be married to the first person I said "I do" to. At any rate, I've seen it enough to know what not to do.
The "little" spy.
"What did your Father say about me?" "Does your Mother have a new boyfriend?"
I've seen this happen and it's of no benefit to the children. This was your relationship, it was your divorce. Leave them out of it. They are not visiting your ex-spouse to collect information for you (collective). They are visiting to continue a bond of love with their parents. This puts children precisely where they should not be during a divorce. In the middle
"In this corner the Mom and this corner the Dad."
I see so many newly divorced individuals behaving like children, which leaves their children where? Scrambling to make sense and stability out of it all and behave like adults. Children should not have to be adults. They don't know how, yet. I know, from the experiences that I've seen, that divorce can be gut-wrenching and one of the most emotional things a person may have to face. The facts remain, that if you share a child(ren) with this person you will be faced with them for at least a few years. It's in the child's best interest to remain as amicable as possible. On that same token, it's best to not bite off more than you can chew. If Harry, your ex, invites you to his award acceptance party and Larry your son really wants you to go, but you don't think you'll be able to handle it, then a polite no is in best order. If your anger is always getting the best of you, see a therapist, it's still beats fighting with your ex when you divorced them so you would not have to do it anymore.
Really, though, the best advice is to just love yourself and love your children and always make their best interest your priority. No one is perfect and you may say things to your children that they should not hear. By all means, if you do, apologize. Tell them that it was inappropriate. Tell them that both of you love her/him so very much and only, even if separate, want what is truly best for them. Children are so much more perceptive than adults could ever wish to be. They will know where your intentions are.
I have no legal advice for divorce, my advice comes straight from the heart. With anything that may involve a visit to the courtroom, I'd suggest getting legal counsel.
Thanks for reading this Epinion.
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Epinions.com ID:
Gizzykat
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Member: Jennifer
Location: Orlando, Florida
Reviews written: 127
Trusted by: 92 members
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