A Step-Parent Adoption
Feb 16 '00
My editorial is a little bit different than those that have been written so far. I wanted to write about the benefits of step-parent adoption.
Let me start by saying I was raised (but not adopted) by a step-parent, and he was the most wonderful father figure in my life. He offered himself and his time to me unconditionally and has always been there for me. My biological father, on the other hand, was the irresponsible type, but fun to be around. I differentiated between the two men by calling my step-father my "father" and my biological father my "dad." You can see even as a child I subconsciously knew the difference.
I was a single mother for 5 years before I met my husband. My daughter's biological father was useless, irresponsible and immature (yes, we've all made mistakes). I raised her basically on my own, until I met my husband. After we were engaged we started discussing the possibilities of adopting. He never had wanted to have children, but felt different when he was with us. We talked about this subject between ourselves for two years. After we were married we approached our daughter about the subject and she was thrilled.
I also spoke with several family members of the biological father and they were 100% supportive of my decision, but I also made it clear that they were still family too. To this day, we still have a wonderful family relationship with many of the family members. Some even send my son gifts at holidays. Very sweet.
The next step was worse...approaching my husband's family. Most were not thrilled with our decisions. They were more concerned about my husband's future than our daughter's. They were worried about the possibilities of divorce and child support of all things! But we stood our ground and went ahead with the process.
In the end, things have worked out great. Everyone has accepted my daughter as family, but it does seem that they are closer to our toddler than her. This could be just my imagination. But I have discussed these concerns with my daughter and she understands how I feel, but disagrees that she's not as accepted. She knows she is in a very loving and caring family now, and that's been what's important to her.
My advice to anyone considering a step-parent adoption: Be open and honest to everyone involved...the father, the child and every family member involved. Let this be a good and positive step, not a step to "take away" a child from one family and place it in another.
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
zookeeper16
|
|
Reviews written: 138
Trusted by: 38 members
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.