phineaskc's Full Review: Burt Ward and Stanley Ralph Ross - Boy Wonder: My ...
"His book is full of so much bologna he could open a deli." - Adam West (radio interview 8/2001)
"He's just jealous because my bat pole is bigger." - Adam West (radio interview 8/2001)
Boy Wonder: My Life In Tights is without a doubt one of the worst books that I have ever read and I have read my fair share. This an autobiography written by Burt Ward, which was supposed to detail his young acting career as the masked sidekick on the original Batman series. Unfortunately Ward was allowed free reign with this book and offers little of what it was like to be Boy Wonder. Instead the reader is subjected to page after page of Ward's perfect existence in his perfect world with his perfect wife and their perfect children and blah blah blah.
This is one of the most shallow and horribly exaggerated books available on the market. After listening to an interview this morning on a local radio show with Adam West to celebrate the 35th anniversary of the Batman movie, I decided to force myself to finish this tragedy of a book. According to West, the book is basically a work of fiction and exists only in the mind of Burt Ward. West went on to say that he holds no ill will towards Ward but they aren't in communication often.
Having been a fan of the Batman series and even collecting memorabilia into my adult years, I was looking forward to this book coming out and ordered a copy from a local retailer. I wish now that I had spent the money on a McDonald's Value Meal and a few Batman comics instead.
The book opens with Ward's first days on the set of Batman and how he was treated as a lessor actor by many of the crew. For example, in the opening sequence of Batman when the car is racing down the roadway from the batcave, the car actually crashes into the lights and cameras, resulting in minor injuries to Ward. He expresses his frustration at West having a stunt double but Ward was expected to do his own scenes to save production costs. There was a stunt man available but he was busy sipping coffee with West. In just three short days of filming, Burt visited the emergency room once a day to treat various injuries. In one scene the crew used sticks of dynamite to blow the set apart because they had forgotten to build a breakaway wall, causing parts of the wall and support beams to land directly on Ward. Another visit to the hospital.
Now these were the stories I wanted to hear and Ward delivers in the first part of the book. He entertains the reader with a few stories about his incredibly uncomfortable costume, long hours on the set, conversations with other cast members, answers to rumors about Ward and West's sexual orientation, and the friendship they shared. The problem is that these stories are only present in the first couple chapters of the book and the rest is Ward droning through hundreds of pages about his sexual trysts, how everyone wanted him, his great wealth, successful business, and his perfect family. By the time I reached the mid-section of the book, I was horribly bored and almost to a point of hanging myself from my ceiling posts. Yes, it is that bad.
The sad fact is that Ward is a washed up actor that never amounted to anything after his younger years and short stint as Batman's sidekick so he finds it necessary to embellish quite a bit. If you can stomach his one sided love affair some of the book is really quite interesting including the glossary of cast members that have passed away with short bios on each of them. The four pages of dead cast members was far more interesting than the rest of the book so save yourself the headache and start from the back. This is without a doubt the longest 300 pages you will ever read.
Another interesting section (also in the back) is a list of the official Crimefighting paraphernalia including such items as the Batcopter, Batkeys, and more. Unfortunately it is just a text list with no detailed descriptions or images.
While you are thumbing through the back take a gander at the FAQ Ward has put together. Some of the questions and answers are interesting including how many times he said "Holy youfillintheblank" - answer is 370 times. Whatever you do don't miss out on his impressive resume that he felt compelled to put in the book. For what reason I am still unsure but I imagine it was another opportunity to gloat about his past.
If this book weren't bad enough Ward hints that there will be a sequel. He states that people were inquiring about a second book before he even had this one published. Lucky for Ward he owns Logical Figments Books because I can't imagine any publisher beating down his door for a sequel.
Holy nightmare! She hated my book!
REVIEWERS NOTE: This year is the 35th anniversary for Batman The Movie, which was released in 1966. Take the money you might have spent on this book and buy the movie instead - it's fabulous!
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