solleks's Full Review: Alexandra Flinn - Breathing Underwater
Sixteen-year-old Nick Andreas looks like a kid who has it all together: awesome car, great grades, cool friends, and a beautiful girlfriend who thinks he makes the sun rise and set.
Only Nick knows that his life is far from perfect. His mother moved out when he was five, leaving him with a father who never misses a chance to use his fists or to tell him that his birth was an accident. He feels inferior to his more athletically inclined friends.
And his girlfriend, Caitlin…don’t even get him started! Why does she want to hang out with her best friend from school when she could be spending time with him? How dare she wear a swimsuit that exposes her body to other boys—is she looking for a better catch? And where does she get off criticizing him in front of his friends? Why can’t she just listen to him? Doesn’t she know he wouldn’t get so angry if only she’d stop making him feel jealous and insecure?
When Caitlin acts up, Nick knows it’s his role as the man to put her back in her place. Usually, a few words will do the trick: “Fat!” “Slut!” “B*tch!” But when words no longer work, Nick begins using his hands. Nothing much. A push. Maybe a slap or a punch. Nothing she hasn’t asked for. After all, he’s only trying to teach her how to behave…he doesn’t want to really hurt her.
But Caitlin, with the support of her friends and family, goes to court and gets a restraining order. The judge sentences Nick to six months in an anger management class. At first, Nick treats the whole thing as a joke. Everyone knows a popular kid like him isn’t really an abuser. But slowly, he starts to realize he is not so different from the other men in the class after all. In some ways, he may even be worse.
He wants to avoid the future he sees in his classmates’ faces, but doing so will mean letting down his mask of perfection and allowing people to see…and help…the real Nick.
Style of Writing
The story is told in first person from Nick’s point of view. Nick is a painfully honest narrator, slowly coming to realize the great harm he has done to another person.
For instance, after watching Leo, a friend of his from the men’s group humiliate his girlfriend, Nick wonders, “God, was I like that with Caitlin?” Then he thinks back to a time he threatened to break up with Caitlin to stop her from performing in a talent show. When Caitlin asks him why he’s embarrassing her, he responds:
“Doing what? You’re the one doing it to me.” Everyone pretended to continue their own conversations, but they watched us. I said to Caitlin, “I don’t want you embarrassing yourself in that talent show. You go there, singing like you do, looking like a fat slob, and people will laugh.” I was so worked up, I almost believed what I said.
Caitlin did believe it. She metamorphosed with my words, arms drooping at her sides. She said, “Okay, I won’t sing. It was a stupid idea.”
Nick realizes, in shock, “I was like Leo.”
What Works
Author Alex Flinn knows the subject of domestic violence. Not only did she research and attend several batterer’s groups in preparation for writing this novel, she is also a former counselor at a domestic violence shelter and an attorney who has prosecuted several domestic violence cases.
Her knowledge shows. She nails several aspects of abuse with stunning accuracy.
First, she shows how abuse escalates over time. Nick does not hit Caitlin the day he meets her. In fact, he worships her as a goddess. At one point, he describes his relationship with her as an “addiction,” and says she is both his dealer and his drug of choice. He becomes obsessed with the idea that he will somehow lose her and does everything in his power to keep her at his side. He begins to “punish” her with stony silences or with veiled threats to end their relationship when he feels her attention is waning. The silences slowly escalate to name-calling and threats, and finally to full-scale assaults.
Second, Flinn carefully shows the three-stage “cycle of violence” familiar to all domestic violence counselors: tension building, battering episode, loving calm. In September, for instance, Nick’s father beats him and one of his friends implies that he isn’t treating Caitlin right. Anger rising to a boiling point, Nick finds Caitlin practicing a vocal solo with a boy in choir. He grabs her arm hard enough to leave bruises and accuses her of sleeping around. Caitlin breaks into tears. Immediately, Nick is ashamed and promises himself he will make it up to her:
In October, I was the perfect boyfriend. The morning after our fight, I showed up at Caitlin’s doorstep with ten Beanie Babies, stuffed animals she collected. I sent a card, even wrote a poem once, and peppered her with gifts the rest of the month, ending up with the drama club’s Halloween-o-gram carnation sale when I bought fifty, writing a different message on each card so Caitlin was weighed down with flowers like a beauty pageant winner.
Of course Caitlin forgives Nick.
Finally, Flinn also shows how domestic violence is inter-generational. Caitlin has been emotionally abused by her mother and has witnessed her mother’s abuse at the hands of various men. She is susceptible to believing the worst about herself and knows all too well how to be a victim. Nick, for his part, heard his father beating his mother when he was a young child. After his mother fled, his father’s rages transferred to him. Nick has learned how to gain power through violence. It’s a story I’ve heard all too often in my own role as a counselor.
A few other positives?
Even though Nick’s past as an abused child is not slighted or ignored, it is also shown to be no excuse for his present behavior. If Nick wants to change, exploring his past will not be enough. He will also have to make some hard choices about his future.
SPOILER AHEAD
Also, Nick does not get Caitlin back. By the end of the book, she still wants nothing to do with him, and he realizes his violence has ended their relationship. Continuing in therapy may help him build a new relationship with someone else, but it will not return Caitlin to him.
Finally, there are no easy answers for Nick. Even at the end of the book, he continues to struggle with his temper and his desire to put on a good face and hide from the world. He’s on the right path, but he’s got a long way to go.
SPOILER FINISHED
What Doesn’t Work
I have no problems with this book. The characters are well-rounded and largely sympathetic, the style of writing is compelling, and the issues are handled with accuracy and compassion.
Family Reading?
Breathing Underwater contains strong profanity and disturbing violence. Sex is implied but not explicitly described.
The book is marketed as a young adult novel, and the cover recommends it for readers over thirteen.
I would agree, with the caution that this is a good book for parents to discuss with their teenagers. Violent relationships can be a problem for teens of both sexes and all sexual orientations. Please don’t close your eyes and hope that your child will be one of the lucky ones.
Talk openly about the issue—warning signs of violence, what to do if a date becomes violent, etc. And always remember that kids with good self esteem have far less trouble ending and staying out of abusive relationships than kids with poor self esteem. Kindness is a far better teacher than harsh criticism!
Summary/Final Recommendation
Over the years, there have been several excellent young adult novels written from the point of view of the victim in a violent relationship.
This is one of the first young adult novels I’ve come across which explains what goes on in the mind of the batterer.
It is an absorbing piece of work that compassionately describes the world of the abuser without offering excuses. I highly recommend it for teenagers and adults.
Like father,like sonIntelligent, popular, handsome, and wealthy, sixteen-year-old Nick Andreas is pretty much perfect - on the outside, at least. What...More at HotBookSale
Nick has never spoken of his father s violent temper, but when Nick meets Caitlin, everything changes. This critically acclaimed first novel offers an...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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