driver4t5's Full Review: Eas Myoplex Nutrition Shake
The most deadly sin of a product is to be bad. While bad works for certain movie stars and wrestlers, it is the kiss of death for a consumer product. The next worst sin is to be forgettable; to be little more than a benign, generic experience. Such is the case with the Myoplex Nutrition Shake from EAS.
EAS generally pumps out okay products. Nothing spectacular, but competent enough for consumption without remembering them for the wrong reasons. Problem is, they're not terribly memorable for the RIGHT reasons either. I did consume their Simply Protein bars for a time not so much for their excellence, rather because I found most of their competition to be rotten. Now that I'm hooked on Labrada, I don't buy EAS bars any more. Nevertheless I thought I'd give their powder the benefit of the doubt.
Myoplex Nutrition Shakes come in 11 flavors. Unfortunately only three were available from my knothole-sized (but incredibly cheap) health store so I opted for the Chocolate Cream. Rich Dark Chocolate flavor might have had some potential - if only it had been available. I scored the 76 gram (2.7 oz for those metrically challenged like me) packet for $1.85, which puts it squarely in the middle rent district. Prices for boxed sets of 20 should yield slightly cheaper results.
What I got for my buck-eighty-five was a fairly dense nutritional mix. As per the label:
* Total Calories: 280
* Total Carbs 24 g
* Sugar 3 g
* Sodium 330 mg
* Potassium 550 mg
* Fat 2 g
* Protein 42 g
All in all, a decent shot of protein without too many carbohydrates and very little sugar. The protein is a mix of high-octane whey isolates with lower-octane calcium casienates and milk isolates. A rather large field of 23 vitamins and minerals come to play with all but selenium packing at least 50% RDI.
Recommendations are to mix this with 15 (why not 16 as it's so much easier to measure two cups than an oddball figure) oz of water or skim milk. They claim it's mixable in a shaker yet my results say otherwise. Use a blender and a little ice. Still, it mixes better than the virtually mix-proof TwinLab and MetRX powders.
The concoction when mixed with skim milk looked reasonably enough like chocolate. Texture was thick much like a melted McDonald's shake. The scent, though spoke otherwise. I detected some cream. I also noticed a pronouncedly sour smell. I know the milk was good as I'd had a glass less than an hour ago. While not nasty enough to spur me to pour it down the drain, it did put me on alert and I took a very small first sip.
What I got was a sickly sweet flavor, not so much like chocolate as it was like the first taste of a diet sweetener. Huh? I checked the label and saw no Nutra-Sweet or saccharin, yet my mouth was saying otherwise. Whatever chocolate flavor was in the powder took its sweet (no pun intended) time making its way to the fore. Finally around the fourth chug I began to detect something remotely chocolate. After the initial wave of sweetness the flavor began to turn to a creamy blandness, neither offending nor enticing me. It was almost as if I was drinking a generic mass. This mix was providing nutrition, volume, and little taste - in other words nothing to remember it. Upon finishing this little obligation I noted an aftertaste that was again reminiscent of a diet product.
In football terms, this was a 14-7 game where all of the plays were of the "3 yards and a dust cloud" variety. In dating parlance, this was a date where some was spoken but not much was said. I can't trash this 'cause other than the scent, it didn't do anything to offend me. I can't recommend this highly either 'cause it didn't do anything to call attention to itself.
The label says "Precision Nutrition Formula". I can envision little teams of scientists mixing, testing, and retesting this product for complete nutritional fullness and balance. I also think of synchronized swimming, which is a fitting analogy as this mix is as precise, as well-timed, and as dreadfully boring.
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