I Am Legend is one of the most amazing books ever written. The writing style isn't utterly memorable, but the idea! It's the kind of book where you get to the end and you're shouting “Oh my God! You're kidding!” but it all fits together. And then you want to read it again because you have to see how he did it. Richard Matheson, the author was one of the pre-eminent writers for The Twilight Zone. Rod Serling thought he was brilliant. The first movie made from the novel, Omega Man, was pretty mediocre. Glaringly 70's. But it still had some charm. However, when I heard another movie was being made and that Will Smith was starring, I was thrilled. I hoped that Hollywood wouldn't bungle things again, but the participation of Will Smith gave me hope. (I'm not sure why.)

I finally, finally got my hands on it last night and huddled in bed ready to have my world rocked. Can you believe, here I am in Chile and not one earthquake in three months? I just wanted to feel one. Oh, and the movie sucked too. In fact I sat here watching the movie in such horror that I couldn't even summon the interest to turn it off.

In the story, a virus turns most humans into blood thirsty vampires sparing one man, virologist Robert Nevil. Nevil spend his time hunting vampires, searching for a cure and trying to stay alive. These things stayed in the movie to a certain extent. And Will Smith did a creditable job with the stinking pile of script he was handed and the lousy effects he was surrounded by.

1. The zombie vampires were horrible. They were ripped off from 28 Days Later and badly. Really badly. The heads are misshapen, the skin is shiny in places and they have no personality. They're just there to show us how cool computer graphics are.

2. Now the lack of personality is something that was changed from the book and important to the plot. Change that, you change the plot. Change the plot and you pretty much have a different movie. Of course we don't want our enemies to be smart or have personalities. It's much easier to strip them of humanity so we aren't guilty about killing them. If only the original plot hadn't depended on thinking, individual monsters.

3.Robert Nevil is an Army guy now? Why? In the original book, he was just a virologist and that worked beautifully. As my husband remarked, “In order to be a hero now, you have to be in the military.” If I was in the Army, I'd be embarrassed that Robert Nevil is an Army guy too. In the middle of the movie he walks into a trap that I could see was a trap the moment it came up and all my military training comes from too much Stargate.

4. The opening scene as long, pointless and boring. Look the last man on Earth can race around downtown Manhattan at noon in a cool car. I haven't been this bored since the pod race in Star Wars I.

5.The kid that appears at the end has no point. Near the end of the movie 2 characters are introduced. A woman and a child who have come from Ireland. While the woman has a part to play, the boy does nothing to advance the plot or raise the tension level. There one scene where a vampire is ripping a hole in the ceiling and the woman and boy are hiding in the same room. The boy makes a noise alerting the vampire to their presence.
a. how stupid is this boy?
b. the woman could have done the same thing, if she was that stupid.

6.The death of Nevil's wife and child. Now, we can't be entirely sure, but in his nightmares his wife and child appear to have been killed.

7.How stupid do we think the government is? At one point in the movie we see a shot of Nevil on the cover on Time with the word “Savior” and a question mark. If you aren't paying close attention, you will have missed this. It was on the fridge in his kitchen and on screen when he made dinner early in the movie. If this guy is the foremost hope for defeating this plague, what is he doing in NYC? As a military officer, he would have been ordered to the deepest, safest bunker the government has, and his little dog too. They wouldn't risk their best hope anywhere so dangerous. In the original book, Nevil was just a random scientist, not the best hope so it made sense that he was left on the outside.

8.And speaking of the dog. You know the dog dies, right? I mean the moment I said there was a dog in the movie you knew it was going to die. It's one of the most clichéd story arcs around. I'm truly surprised Chewie made it through the Star Wars movies, but even George Lucas isn't that stupid. (Or he wasn't, I don't know what happened in the intervening years.) One of the really shocking things about 28 Days Later was when a main character got infected. Sam could have been made into a main character, but she wasn't and thus, when she got infected it wasn't heartbreaking when he had to kill her. And I love dogs. My husband remarked that he couldn't believe I watched the movie death of a dog without crying, but in order to cry over something, you have to care and just putting fur on something doesn't make me care.

9.The cure was too complicated. Nevil succeeded in finding a cure. WooHoo and all that. But it was complicated and the way he sent it to the survivors wouldn't have helped them much. He said the cure was in the blood. Dandy, but that's what he started with and he spent 3 years looking for it. Even without knowing anything about virology you've got to see a semi can fit through that plot hole.

10.The *&^%$#(@#%^$^ ending. I hate spoilers in movie reviews and this one I won't justify by spelling out. Suffice to say that at the end of the book, the title really meant something and at the end of the movie it meant something entirely different. Plus we had to have the cloying affirmation of faith. As a rule, I have nothing against religion, any religion, until someone starts to cram it down my throat. The book didn't have anything to do with religion. The end of the movie was cramming God down my gullet with a big plunger. I think they thought they were doing something very insightful and affirming, but Children of God it wasn't.

So here I am, having wasted a perfectly good couple of hours when I could have been sleeping or watching a cookie cutter comedy on cable and still waiting for somebody to do a good version of this movie on film. Save yourself some aggravation. You want a great zombie flick? 28 Days Later. You want a religious affirmation with a sci fi twist? Children of Men. Need a Will Smith fix? My favorite is Men in Black, but there are many to choose from. Still want to experience I Am Legend? Carve out a couple of hours and read the book.

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age