S. Darko (2009) Directed by Chris Fisher

Pastor John: You girls new in town?
Sam: Just passing through.
Pastor John: Well, you gonna be around a little while, you might as well stop and get some pizza at my Bible study. Lot of fun.
Corey: Oh, I'm satanic.
[gesturing to Sam]
Corey: She's half-Jehovah, quarter Jew and a tiny bit retarded.
Pastor John: Well, we're nondenominational. We accept all types, even those with horns.

Donnie Darko is a brilliant film, dark, brooding, unpredictable, and profound.  It's little sister is none of those things.

The Plot.  And I use the term loosely.

Samantha Darko, Donnie's dancing sister is all grown up, though no more mature.  Seven years after her brother's death, she sleepwalks, but does not dream.  When her friend Corey's car breaks down on their cross country trip they are stuck in a town like Twin Peaks inbred south western double first cousin.

And that is as far as I am willing to go.

There are many interesting characters, sort of.  Their rescuer Randy is as hot as he is sullen.  The motel manager is a UFO nut.  There is a veteran, Iraq Jack, who wanders around in a camo-suit.  Randy's brother was vanished by the local serial killer.  And there is a fresh kid missing.  Basically, everyone seems fairly normal, for awhile, then you get a glimpse of the freak flag they are flying.  However, none of them are particularly engaging.  The closest you get is Jeremy (Jackson Rathbone) the local nerd who manages to overcome his awkward nervousness, shoot through Prince Charming, and land in Stalkerville with surprising speed.  However, no one in this freakshow can really act.  Now, I know from past experience some of them are capable.  But the director seems to want as flat and two dimensional a rendering as they can muster.

The special effects are fine; on par with the original.  The cinematography is great; though the bleak scrub lands are not as banal as Middlesex VA.  The sound and music are fine.  Where this one falls down is the plot.

Here is the thing; it feels like someone REALLY loved Donnie Darko, and tried to find a way to create the DARKO FORMULA.  Let's see,
Count down to doomsday; check.  Sleepwalker with schizophrenic visions, check.  Prophetic Dreams, check.  Drugs and alcohol, which aren't helping the underlying problems, check.  Strange tendrils of energy that lead the person dreaming the direction of their intentions, check.  Death from above, check.  Frank the nightmare bunny mask, check.  Actor from the first movie willing to sell her career and soul down river, check.

Here is the problem.  The first movie worked because it was a clear vision, an exploration of the dark corners of the mind, and the link between insanity and higher vision.  This one was a movie about sulky teenagers pouting, while weird things happen, rewind, happen another way, rewind, and happen a third.  The teenagers are always sulky and pouting in each timeline.

It's not even like each reworking of history leads to a happier ending.  Someone always dies, especially the missing little boy.  The murderer is never brought to justice, not in any time line.  It just seems to be, random stuff happens, but since the Darkos are touched by the Philosophy of Time Travel, they get rewinds.

I am sorry, this is not enough to make a movie.  The original director Richard Kelly was so vehemently opposed to this movie that he refuses to work with anyone associated with it, ever again.  Personally, I think he has the right idea.

The guilty parties:

Daveigh Chase ...  Samantha
Briana Evigan ...  Corey
James Lafferty ...  Iraq Jack
Ed Westwick ...  Randy
Bret Roberts ...  Officer O'Dell
Jackson Rathbone ...  Jeremy
Elizabeth Berkley ...  Trudy
Barbara Tarbuck ...  Agatha
Matthew Davis ...  Pastor John

This review is Lean-N-Mean because being concise is like pulling the band aid off in one quick tug.  It hurts less.  This one is 666 words.

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Better than Watching TV
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age