You Couldn't Pay Me Enough
Written: Jul 12 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Readily available, often given away free apparently
Cons: Tastes like swill; you may need vaccinations after drinking it
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| J.J.Samen's Full Review: Zima |
Zima is, in a word, swill.
I have spent a great deal of time, indeed all told many weeks of my life, in wetlands, marshes and bogs. In the course of my many expeditions, I have on a few occasions wound up with brackish swamp water in my mouth. At least once the water was also contaminated.
Also, I have sampled a fair number and variety of fermented beverages; I can recognise one when I taste it, whether it's wine or vinegar, liquor or liqueur, pilsner or lager.
For these reasons I feel I am qualified in asserting that Zima tastes like fermented contaminated stagnant swamp water. Something the EPA should be overseeing the disposal of. Something you wouldn't want to step in.
A fellow Epinions member, in his review of Zima, suggested that its manufacturers secretly filtered out from this stuff the impurities that give alcohol its flavour, bouquet, aftertaste and so on. I suspect just the opposite: that impurities are being filtered out of other substances and added to Zima.
I don't know exactly how Zima is made... but I know that it's supposedly a malt-based beverage, and there is not the slightest hint of malt in this drink's body. Tannin perhaps, but not malt. Mostly muck, with an aftertaste that feels green and slimy in your mouth.
When I had the opportunity to try Zima soon after it was introduced -- a friend brought by a six-pack during my college days -- I looked forward to the experience of a unique flavour. Needless to say, I was taken aback, and took myself back to my room for a different beverage to get the taste out of my mouth. You could not pay me enough to drink this dreck again.
Hey, I know some people seem to like Zima and even think it's refreshing and citrusy. Crystal Pepsi (long shall its memory linger on our tongues) was a clear carbonated beverage that tasted refreshing and citrusy. Sprite and 7-Up are clear, and citrusy and/or refreshing.
But the fact is, Zima tastes like swill.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
J.J.Samen
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Member: Jacqueline Samen
Location: Waterbury, CT
Reviews written: 80
Trusted by: 19 members
About Me:
Writer, painter, graphic designer, amateur botanist, drummer, dreamer, cat lover and all-around Renaissance woman...
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