In the interests of, er, research for this review, I took a guess and went off to seventeen.com. It is, for better or for worse, exactly like its print counterpart: unsure as to whether teen-aged girls are virgins are whores, with little inbetween.
March 00, www.seventeen.com offers
-- the results of a sex survey among teens
-- a survey asking what Barbie (the doll) should do to celebrate her birthday
"Katie, 18," says that a lot of teens talk about having sex. I'm not sure whether Seventeen is deliberately hiding its head in the sand on that one or what: its advice on sex does not generally go beyond pap about not being pressured and using a condom, but the details of how to French kiss have been probed in disturbing detail for years now. So actual teen-agers are talking about sex, and Seventeen is talking about kissing. Great. This not-quite-all-there editorial problem prevails: the Barbie survey mentions the Ken doll's "helmet-head 'do." Ken lost the molded plastic and has had flowing, non-helmet hair for several years now! Sheesh!!
The virgin-whore business is sort of the order of the day in most teen magazines nowadays: one of the latest issue's headlines is IS HE BOYFRIEND MATERIAL? It's assumed your hormones are in overdrive; if you're not taking a "quiz" to determine your astrological compatibility with the "hottie" in your math class, you're busy slathering yourself with body glitter to at least get his attention. When you finally do get it, though, move on to another magazine: Seventeen will tell you how to kiss and that sex equals pregnancy and disease, but nothing else.
Quotation time:
"If your guy is around only sometimes, you might want to keep your eye open for new boy options."
(No comment.) (Whore!)
Seventeen was a favourite of mine in my pre-teen days (note to well-meaning relatives: very few girls read these magazines after middle school); I liked the preppy fashion spreads (oh, that fat, fat September back-to-school issue...) and mild encouragement on how to take my first steps with make-up more daring than Bonne Bell 7-Up Lip Smacker. Seventeen has changed since then. This is good, since the rest of the world has as well, but I'm not entirely convinced it's for the best. I don't remember lingerie spreads (or "glittery bandeau" tops), or aggressive make-up techniques. A regular feature of the magazine at the moment is to accost a girl on the street (almost always in NYC, as is the case with almost all magazines) and give her a make-over. How generous! How thoughtful, to seek out fifteen-year-olds and intimate that their eyebrows may not be properly plucked! Yeesh...
Quotation time:
"Am I still a virgin if I have oral sex?"
(No comment.) (Virgin!)
To its credit, Seventeen valiantly struggles here and there to make itself just a notch above its even fluffier competitors. Once you're done with the boys, boys, boys and quizzes, quizzes, and more quizzes, there are a few articles of value scattered around. I like an article on re-decorating your room for $200: they've done a good job, and even those without the rather reasonable $200 can still pick up a few good ideas. It's assumed that between make-out sessions, double dates and shopping for clothes, you might have some loftier concerns, like jobs and college applications. (It is irritatingly American with its orientation on "college" and SATs; I remember the weird frustration and mystery Seventeen presents to its Canadian readers: but I'm going to "university," and what on earth is a "SAT"? Also, why have I never actually seen these ubiquitous cheerleaders and football team captains?)
A good deal of these articles are commendable: good "real life" advice, taking sport seriously, discussing realistic options for post-high-school existence, and so forth. You just end up wishing that that common sense could leach over into the cosmetic and boy articles -- Seventeen graduates should pick up In Style, since the celebrity pandering and appearance obsession isn't too far removed there.
The respect Seventeen has for its readers is rather neatly summed up by an advert taken out by Lorillard Tobacco, which reads
TOBACCO IS
[strange illustration of smoking man with head exploding]
Seventeen Magazine is the world's most popular magazine for today's teenage girls! In every issue you'll get the latest scoop on style, friends, guys,...More at Magazineline
Seventeen Magazine Subscription. Seventeen Magazine is created for today’s modern teenage girl. Each magazine features articles discussing: fashion, ...More at Abbey Magazines
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