optionexplicit's Full Review: What a Wonderful World [Single] by Kenny G
It is one of the occupational hazards of riding in so many New York City taxi cabs that I am exposed to all manners of radio broadcast. Often, it is the rampantly unfunny Howard Stern's juvenile antics, some preacher talking specifically about why I am going to Hell or screechy, Indian pop ragas.
In spite of all that, not once have I asked a driver to turn off the radio or change the station. I believe that the relationship between a cab driver and a fare is a very delicate one, not to be trifled with. However, I do not know if I can maintain decorum should this particular track come wafting out of the speakers again.
I don't mind remakes as a whole. Even if a band should fall short of the original effort, I often appreciate their homage to the original. Still, there are some times that such an incredibly classic song is handled so incredibly badly (like Madonna's "American Pie") that I feel my shoulders start to rise upward in a desperate attempt to cover my ears. After listening to Kenny G cover Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World," I may need to have my spine adjusted.
Stepping into the cab, I thought I was pretty safe to hear CD-101.9 playing on the radio. For those of you who don't live in or around New York City, CD-101.9 plays a steady mix of "adult contemporary" and "lite jazz." Their playlist is generally about as interesting and controversial as a white bread and mayonnaise sandwich. Considering that the last cab I got into was playing something by the M & Ms, I thought I was doing pretty well. Although, I must say I have enjoyed the M & Ms' commercials, they certainly have some uncomplimentary things to say about women when they sing.
"What a Wonderful World" is one of my all-time favorite songs. Sappy, sentimental, and almost absurdly ironic most of the times I want to listen to it, it could never have been made today. Considering that most of my pop musical tastes run towards punk and other music with punk sensibilities, it's particularly striking that I enjoy this particular song so much. Still, when I am buried, I want two songs played at my funeral: Amazing Grace (on bagpipes) and What A Wonderful World.
If someone should pick the Kenny G version of this song to play at the funeral, at least it will make me glad to be dead.
I recognized the opening chords to this song as soon as they came on and actually smiled. By about the eighth or ninth note, however, I knew something was wrong. It was like biting into a steak at Lutece and finding yourself with a mouth full of Big Mac. It was like sipping my Jamaican Blue Mountain and finding, instead, Folger's Crystals. It was Princess Grace in cubic zirconium. It was bad.
My smile turned into the ricture as I realized that not only was Kenny G covering Louis Armstrong, Kenny G had remixed Louis Armstrong's vocals over his own, plastic playing. I was too stunned to respond. Musical necrophagia is nothing new. Natalie Cole did it with "Unforgettable," but at least she had the decency to keep it in the family. When she did it, we could shudder and think of it as a really bad novelty song. But, by virtue of not running Cole out of town on a rail, we have allowed others to think that such things are acceptable.
It's not that Kenny G is a bad players. He is the McDonalds of Jazz--singularly inoffensive and bland--target-marketed for people who want no surprises in their music. His music is quiet, unassuming, and elevator-friendly. It's middle management cocktail music.
Does anyone remember that Pat Boone put out an album of heavy metal covers a few years back? If you saw the cover, there was Pat decked out in pleather and spikes. It sold mainly to the same people who bought Shatner's The Transformed Man--rubberneckers at a musical trainwreck. That's what this reminds me of. But, at least Pat was covering a genre itself full of self-parody and never to be taken too seriously by those out of adolescence. His efforts did not have the air of hubris that this does.
Kenny G does not have the musical talent to clean out Louis Armstrong's spit valve. That he would lay hands on such a seminal piece of music and taint it with his own mediocrity is beyond words.
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