It's really, really sad when when you enter the video store and find that there are no good new releases that interest you. And it's even worse when all your old favorites are rented. Such an event might lead you to rent The Pit.

There is good news, however... if you're the type person who finds yourself worrying about who might have touched the tapes you rent, you can rest easy... not too many will bother with this one... (The flip-side of that, is if you consider what type of person might have been one of those few renters!)

I know... I know... be nice...

I was told as a child that if you can't say something nice about someone (or in this case, something)... then you shouldn't say anything at all... so, before I slam this movie... I WILL SAY SOMETHING NICE!

Really... I Will... (I just have no idea what...)

Wait a second... I know... This Movie Was Good Because It Gave Dozens of Actors Work (and thereby prevented them from being in any other movie made during this time...)

There... I did it! Now on to the review!

The Plot

An autistic child named Jamie is the town oddball... the outcast child with no friends. The kids hate him and pick on him and most of the adults think he's too weird... and he is...

One day during a walk in the woods, he almost falls into a Pit... we knew there had to be one of those somewhere in this movie... and discovers a herd/tribe of small, ape like creatures that he calls Trogs or some such nonsense.

Jamie decides they might be hungry and brings them lots of food... they only eat the meat... and seem to want more...

Feeding Time

Jamie is odd, but not stupid. He knows a golden opportunity when he sees one. (He also knows a nice set of breasts when he sees them too, as we discover...)

There is an invalid lady, the old lady next door that most of us remembered from childhood... not sweet and nice like Mrs. Wilson is to Dennis the Menace, but then Jamie's not Dennis... So Jamie cons the old lady into letting him push her wheelchair for her... and he pushes her as fast as he can run through the woods and stops at the pit... dumping the old lady in to the very voracious and grateful Trogs.

Sleeping Beauty

Besides feeding stray pets, Jamie has another hobby... he likes to watch sleeping women, especially when their breast has fallen out of their nightgown.

Jamie is sitting at the foot of the bed, staring at his very pretty babysitter, who is living in the house while his parents are away... and with a kid like Jamie, they're probably away a lot of the time!

She scolds him for being there and he makes a feeble pass at her, ignoring the fact he's been busted, and managing to con her into giving him a bath... even though he's like 12 and she's early 20's... (wish I'd have been so gutsy as a kid...) Jamie decides he wants to be his babysitter's boyfriend, but she already has one... Jamie, conniving little sucker that he is, knows how to handle that though...

Halloween

A Halloween carnival is going on near the woods and hence, near the pit... Jamie has a plan to rid himself of the most troublesome of his tormenters... and lures the kid and the kid's girlfriend into the woods on the pretense that he has found a treasure chest.

Jamie is dressed in his everyday clothes, and the tough kid is dressed like some kind of pirate. The girl is dressed like a ballerina... with her cute little tutu and skirt and ballet slippers...

Jamie has darted ahead and skirted the pit. He gets the boy to come toward him and he falls directly into the pit. The girl screams and runs... but she doesn't know her way back out of the woods and the sounds of the carnival drown out any hope she might be heard by the town's people.

They are in Jamie's domain, however, and the poor girl is lost... and wandering in a circle. She comes back to the edge of the pit, and Jamie.. who has ingeniously put on a sheet with eye-holes cut out and looks like a ghost sneaks up behind her, taps her on the shoulder and when she turns, he says "Boo!"

The girl goes rigid, gasps, and faints dead away... Jamie kneels next to his unconscious victim and begins to strip her little ballerina skirt off... and tells her how beautiful she is and how sorry he is that she need to go, but that for as pretty as she is outside, she's ugly inside and he's doing her a favor...

And with that, he rolls her into the pit, to be dessert for the appreciative Trogs!

More Schemes

Of course, the oversexed kid isn't done yet. He's also got his eye on a neighbor... he likes the motherly types... so he steals her daughter's bicycle and leaves her stranded in the woods... why not in the pit? I don't know... but he has decided he wants to see the girl's mothers breasts... I guess for a comparative analysis against the babysitters breasts... so he hatches his newest scheme.

Jamie has placed a call from a telephone booth and he once his mark has answered the phone, he begins playing a tape he has made... telling her to listen and do as he says if she wants to see the little girl again!

She is warned to be quiet and to move to the window and to remove her blouse... The woman is hesitant to do so, but Jamie has out-foxed the foxy mama... and she acquiesces to his demands.

Jamie has taken a position near the window of the house, and is firing away with his Polaroid camera, getting a nice batch of pics, including when the woman finally lets her breasts fall free of the bra... just before the little girl makes it home...

The Frame

Of course a search of the area around the carnival turns up neither clue nor Pit! remember what kinds of police are in these movies... It's like they're saying: "We've done a complete search of the area except for that big hole in the ground!"

Meanwhile, Jamie has stuffed the dead girl's skirt and a couple of his sexy-Polaroids under the seat of his baby-sitter's boyfriend's car! Then he makes a call to the authorities, tipping them off... and the boyfriend is history!

Grand Finale

Finally the Pit is discovered... and the case is closed... the kid gets away with the murders and the Trogs are shot... and the pit filled in...

But it's been a trying time for the youngster, or so the parents think... and they decide he needs a vacation away from all the excitement... and take him to visit some long, lost relatives.

As the parents chat, their cute little girl leaks Jamie into the woods... to show him something... and they find another pit.

"Hey, those are Trogs!" Jamie says, "And they like meat!"

"I know," the girl says and pushes Jamie into the pit...

The End! I felt compelled to tell you that was the end because not many people have sat through this movie to the end!

I found myself regretting I ever did... but perhaps my experience can spare at least one of you... this is a groaner... this is a bad movie that's not bad enough to be enjoyable for it's badness...

Spare Yourselves... please!

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older