Don't ever rely on "Tell Me" (1 800 555 TELL) for its movie reviews. I was driving to the theater when trying to decide which movie to see, cell phone in hand. "Tell Me" rated "The Pledge" with 3 1/2 out of 4 "Tell Me" Stars. I know better now. Use "Tell Me" for weather and driving directions and you'll do fine.

"The Pledge" is about a police detective (played by Jack Nicholson) who learns of a gruesome child murder at his retirement party, makes a "pledge" to the mother of the victim and then works to solve the murder in a retired sort of way. When a "Crazy Indian" gives a forced confession then commits suicide in jail, the detective doesn't believe the Indian did the misdeed and puts together his own investigation.

"The Pledge" will become a case study for film school students of what not to do. Where else can you find all of these major movie faux pas in one place? 1) extremely poor production values, 2) questionable character motivation , 3) a boring and telegraphed plot, 4) and some very uninspired if not stereotypical performances.

In two scenes are the film's terrible production values evident. Robin Penn Wright (director Shawn Penn's recent ex-wife) plays a battered single-mom/waitress that meets the retired detective at the coffee shop where she works. You notice the weathered look and scratches on her face before the plot shows you that she is battered. Her front tooth is also supposed to be broken, but a too close close-up shot reveals the waxy black build-up to cover half of her whole real tooth. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at this oversite. The tooth gets fixed later in the film - how convenient - shortly before I walked out of the theater, about one hour into the film.

The other production mess-up happened near the beginning of the film as they scan the office of Detective Black to give his character some identity. I should have gotten a clue and walked out even earlier. The producers used old Jack Nicholson head-shots from "Five Easy Pieces" and "The Shining" and superimposed them into these phony-looking "rememberance" photos to hang above the detective's desk. Both of the heads looked really fake, but one was too large for the body and twisted around in a very unusual pose.

Two laughs so far - but this movie is far from being a comedy.

I know that this story was originally in book form before it was made into a film, but whatever interesting story line and characters that might have been found in print somehow got lost in the translation. Benicio Del Toro can act - I have recently seen him pull off some great performances in "Traffic" and "Snatch". His "Crazy Indian" character was unbelievable and fake, and his motivations left unexplained, consistent with all the other characters in this slow moving "thriller".

I'm sorry. I know I teased you in my intro with a plan to talk more about this film's boring plot and characters, but its too boring to talk about it. Take my word on this and avoid this film. At least don't pay $8 to see it in the theater.

The only thing this movie had going for it was the choice of the film location. I liked the mountainous scenery.

Because "The Pledge" starred Jack Nicholson, I kept waiting in the belief that the story would pick up. It didn't go anywhere in the first hour. So "The Pledge" now has the distinction of being the movie that I watched for the longest time before walking out of the theater before it ended. I may try to catch the end of it when its on cable and I'm stuck at home with a virus and nothing better to do. Then again, maybe not.


Recommended:
No

Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age