Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: There are some things even a blonde won't do.

Being the professional critic that I am, I must do the review of Legally Blonde correctly. I must view the film from the right perspective. I must become a blonde! I also must think like a valley girl. I will dye my hair, channel a dead valley girl and then watch the movie and write the review. Granted it won’t be as a natural blonde but I am thinking that a lot of blondes aren’t.

So here I sit, the semi-permanent dye before me. I’m still scared about doing this. I must be careful not to inhale the fumes because that is probably why a majority of fake blondes are so dumb.

24 hours, some brain channeling and a good styling later...

Like ohmigod! I just got back from a super super funny movie. Sometime a movie appears, like, unbelievably stupid but that is totally just a trick to hide the obvious smarts and charm that the movie sends out. You would like to hate it but, come on, that would be so LAME.

The movie that I am talking about is called Legally Blonde. Now you’re probably thinking, “How could he like such a movie?” You probably think that this is a chick flick right. PUHLEASE people! Just ‘cause a movie has a blonde female in the lead does not mean that it’s like totally stupid ya know.

Elle Woods (a sweet Reese Witherspoon) is one BODACIOUS hottie from Bel-Air who likes to have fun with her girlfriends. She’s a total Delta Nu and is smart enough to know that pink is so in right now. Her mother and daddy have brought her up to be a total glamour queen. I mean, she was runner up at the Hawaiian Tropics pageant if you get my drift. Elle has a TOTALLY great rack. I wonder who her plastic surgeon is?!

Elle has a boyfriend named Warner Huntington III (Matthew Davis) whom she is totally into. The problem is that he believes that she is like so over. Warner is going off to Harvard to study law. Now, I don’t know what Harvard is; but I hear you have to be really super super smart to get in. Anyway, Warner has BIG plans to run for office someday. He tells Elle that he needs a Jackie and not a Marilyn. This is SO like my favorite soap opera.

This breakup sends Elle into total bluesville. I was hoping that she would b!tch-slap Warner, sending him from Beverly Hills to the ghetto but she has other plans to win back her man. She’s going to study her cute tushy off and get into Harvard herself. She pulls it off too and this makes the audience totally stoked. How cool is THAT? You go girlfriend!

When she gets to Harvard, she does not fit in. These Harvard people are just stuck up snobs. I mean my God, I would rather be gagged with a spoon than hang around these people. These people don’t even like her cute Chihuahua. The only problem I had with the dog was that he was in the movie so much and you never saw him eat a chalupa. I thought that Chihuahuas liked those! Probably good that he doesn’t though. Those things are so fattening!

One of the people that Elle must deal with is Warner’s new girlfriend Vivian Kensington (Selma Blair). Vivian is a total witch and is so wrong for Warner. Elle must prove once and for all that she is the #1 hottie.

Does Elle succeed at Harvard? Well duh people! How can you go wrong when you’re blonde? People can’t resist your charm. Elle also knows how to impress her professor (Victor Gaber). He is surprised when she hands him her resume. It’s pink and scented because that adds more spunk to it.

Director Robert Luketic and screenwriters Karen McCullah Lutz and Kristen Smith have created a total blast of a movie here. It’s like Clueless only Elle is not named after a great singer from the past who now does infomercials. They’ve truly tapped into the blonde culture you know.

I was laughing so HARD during the movie that I think I may have snorted a few times. I hope no one heard me snort because, like ohmigod, that would be so not cool.

The rest of the cast is like so in also. Elle meets a really hip dude at Harvard named Emmett (Luke Wilson) who is also a lawyer creature. He helps our heroine out so she does not feel like a total loser in this strange new place.

What I liked most about this film is that Reese Witherspoon totally rawks! I mean, who knew a lawyer could be so funny or so drop dead gorgeous! If she was my lawyer I would probably be thinking of more than her defending me.

So I recommend Legally Blonde. Run, don’t walk to see the movie. By running, you can burn off some of those nasty calories.

24 hours, a good wash and some unchanneling later...

Well everyone, I have been to hell and back again. I will never go blonde again. I think my IQ dropped by half! Someone asked me for a penny for my thoughts and I had to give them change. I then had to look up and smile whenever I saw a light because I thought my picture was about to be taken. To say the least, it was a bad day.

One of the things that I noticed is that I enjoyed Legally Blonde much more as a blonde. It seemed that I had seen it before. Not that I hated the movie. It all the charm in the world and never talks down to the audience.

God bless Reese Witherspoon though. She truly is a great actress, and has proven that time and time again. It takes talent to take mediocre material and turn it into something enjoyable. Now I just hope she goes and makes another Election type of film instead of Legally Blonde II.

If you want some mindless fun, I suggest that you will find more of it here than in many of the other brainless blockbusters this summer. Just don’t go blonde like I did. I think you’ll find that you won’t be having more fun, you’ll just think you were.

Recommended:
Yes

Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 9 - 12