bondagewound's Full Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
It's hard to figure out where to start reviewing this movie. It may be that I still don't quite know what to think. I just saw this movie last night I am still trying very hard to puzzle my way through it. I guess that the first thing I noticed was that no scene really connected to the ones around it. Intellectually I knew that the plot made sense, but the movie jumped from one place to the next in a most alarming manner. This is a visually wealthy film. It is rich but not vibrant. People and items seam to pop up and then go unexplored. The little bibs and bobs that line the edges of the frame seam placed there without any care. The only real effort that this movie exhibits is in it's explosions and accompanying loud noises, of which there are thousands (apparently all that a magic power can do is make things explode). The result of this odious stylistic choice is that the movie almost plays like instructions on when to be impressed. This is just one area where the makers of the film showed no respect for there audience, one more that I felt insulted by.
The acting was supposed to be better this time around, but it's not, just over done. Daniel Radclif, the young actor who plays Harry, plays him as sort of twelve-year old He-Man. He stands up and shouts, waves his wand, and is always unbelievably brave. Rupert Grint plays Ron Weasly as a comic foil to Harry's young, magical muscle. He is just as dumb as Harry and his facial maneuvers are so out of proportion with his abilities that I wanted to slap him. These two performances were all wrong. Harry is supposed to be the ordinary kid who is unsure of his magical abilities and doesn't want to live up to the hero status he has been accorded. Ron is slightly jealous of Harry's hero status because he knows him well, but he is imaginative and witty and just as brave. In this movie he's just a yes-man. Emma Watson’s Hermione is the only performance of the three main ones that comes close to being right. She rarely stumbles and plays it strait with confidence. She actually has some talent but it's covered up by the loud noises and shiny things that director Chris Columbus is obsessed with.
Aside from the three main characters there are many decent performances but no spectacular ones. The faculty of Hogwarts School is all played by venerable, and talented actors. Maggie Smith hits Prof. McGonagal just right, as Alan Rickman hits Prof. Snape. But these ultra-colorful characters are never exploited. Instead of imposing, McGonagal feels mildly stern. Snape is just unhappy instead of vicious and menacing. Speaking of menacing characters, Luscious Malfoy (father of Potter-rival Draco) is just ridiculous as played by Jason Isaacs. This performance is very definition of over-acting and I found myself groaning uncontrollably. The only word for it is sickening. Richard Harris' Dumbledore is the only one the movie did well; he is ancient and wise with a penetrating stare and vast power hidden beneath his wry smile. I refuse to talk about the house-elf named Dobby, save to say that he is not funny at all. There is however, Dumbledore's pet phoenix Faux, a puppet with no dialog, which delivers the movie’s most convincing performance.
Speaking of dialog, don't people occasionally speak for a purpose other than explaining what's about to happen? I reminded of Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" where there are static shots of two people talking. After twenty seconds we know the characters that much better. Even though these two movies are in different genres, the principle still stands: people are more interesting than plot. Dialog is good when it serves a purpose besides advancing the plot. The dialog in this movie comes right out of the "Coming Next Week" section of those old Saturday morning serials and tries to justify a story that involves and evil plot, a secret chamber, petrified students (and a cat), two monsters, and two megalomaniacal villains. If I didn't know better I'd say that this was a Saturday morning serial.
This movie has a little more going for it than one of those cheese-fests. The visuals are gorgeous. There is a moment where a snake materializes out of a student’s wand during a duel and I didn't ever think it wasn't real. There is also a giant snake and a giant spider that are both good enough to stand next to the behemoth monsters of "Star Wars." But it's not just this that makes this movie look great. There is an entire world here and I believed almost all of it, except for the glitter-covered laser beams that shoot out of the magic wands every other minute. For this reason only do I give any stars. I must impress upon you that this movie is heinous, a slapped-together affair with dollar-signs in it's eyes. And don't bring your children under ten. They won't sit still, they will talk too loudly, and they will annoy the Hell out of me. I don't like your kids, and neither does anyone else. This movie is too long and painful already. I know there are those of you who will insist upon seeing this movie despite the terrible things the most knowledgeable entity in the world (me) has to say about it. Suit yourself, but have a little respect for the other members of the idiot audience, so they can sit through to the idiot ending which is played for the same feeling of menace that every other scene is played for. I hate this movie. This movie makes me want to stop seeing movies.
Epinions.com periodically updates pricing and product information from third-party sources, so some information may be slightly out-of-date. You should confirm all information before relying on it.
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.