You know, Napoleon Once Said, “What is History but a Fable Agreed Upon.” And this is much of what Dan Brown is counting on with this story… I’m not going to touch all the church stuff (although that would be easy to do) because that is out there for the masses and the book has been thoroughly exposed of being devoid of any true and provable conclusions… However, there are several facets of this movie that I would like to hit upon…

My First issue with the movie is the selection of Tom Hanks as John Langdon… In the book he’s described by Boston Magazine (Probably a Play on The Proper Bostonian) as a Harrison Ford Type (Hardly an image that Hanks fills)… Well, I expected this movie to be more of a “Raiders of the Lost Ark” but the choice of leading actors killed that before it ever got off the ground! No Joke, there is almost no emotion from Tom Hanks throughout the entire movie, save for one scene where he’s arguing for the Christians (go see it for yourself and see if I’m making any of this up)…

Now My Second issue comes with one line in the movie that kind of slipped by rather subtly was the claim that the heir was supposed to be revealed by this Priory of Sion around the new Millennium and I find it interesting that he chose this time frame considering the fact that his book was technically written 2 years after the true Millennium began… I know it was fiction but why did he pick this Millennium and not the 1st Millennium? Is it because his book was published just two years after the new Millennium? I just found this kind of an odd statement that he seems to be painting this as though he had first hand knowledge of such an edict… To me it seems to be more of a ploy aimed at adding an air of mystery to the whole story but it ended up being nothing more than a cheesy prop…

Third, they keep focusing on “The Holy Grail” which according to Dan Brown is “The Magdalene” or Mary Magdalene’s Womb which would keep the Royal Bloodline of Jesus alive… Well, the whole plot centers around finding “The Magdalene” and destroying her remnants before they can get DNA testing to prove that she did in fact have Children… Ok, this is where the story loses any hope of being worthy of any historical value! What good does it do to prove that Mary Magdalene had Children when you don’t have Jesus Body to match the DNA against? Why would the church even bother chasing her? Quite simply put, they wouldn’t because there wouldn’t be any way to prove she was carrying Jesus Baby! Do you see how this whole chase and Priory of Sion have lost any real value now? After all, Mary's Divinity was never in question, we know she was mortal and a sinner, but the Divinity of Jesus was in question and there is no genuine way to prove that false even with Mary's remains!

Fourth, and I know this has already been hit upon, is the fact that over half the movie (as does the book) consists of just enough time for every half baked theory to be explained in detail before any of the action breaks in and interrupts… Even when the Albino Monk is hiding in “The Teacher’s” house he manages to let them tell a story he’s trying to prevent from spreading before he charges in to the room and starts beating up Tom Hanks Character (this is why the character should’ve been tougher)... Why would he even bother waiting if he didn’t want any of them to know what they had or even to risk the story being spread further!

Fifth, John Langdon was the guest speaker during a very public event and obviously of very high stature if the Louvre’s Curator knew who he was without ever meeting him before… So why is it that the police were bent on arresting the man when there were clearly more than 50 witnesses that could corroborate his whereabouts? I mean come on, how incompetent would the French Secret Police have to be if they didn’t even bother to do any investigating of the man before they brought him to scene of the crime… Or even worse, why would the Officer erase evidence from the Crime Scene? That is totally oblivious of any reasoning whatsoever!

Sixth, wow am I really at six already, is the issue with the Curator being shot in the abdomen and still running around the Louvre writing on the glass above key paintings and then writing a fully coded paragraph and cryptic account number beside the cleverly crafted mock-up of Leonardo’s work which he would then lie in before carving a Pentacle in his own chest! Now consider this carefully, this guy has been shot in the stomach and this would give him roughly a half hour to live if he didn’t move much but he was all over the place… Crud, he had an amazing presence of mind for somebody that should’ve been in shock already!

Seventh, The Opus Dei is an actual group and nobody ever denies this… However, this movie paints them in kind of a bad way… Let me ask you this though, if this group were as bad as they’re portrayed in this movie then why didn’t they just take out Martin Luther before word of his Reformation Spread? Seriously, it doesn’t add up that these people would even be close to this scheming, manipulative and evil when they wouldn’t even act in times that would’ve required their utmost attention and yet they’re going to chase a myth that could never be proven? I don’t know what he was thinking when he wrote the story but it closely resembles Swiss cheese!

Eighth, I think the only thing I feel Dan Brown has proven with this story is that Leonardo may very well have been a Gnostic as there certainly is a hint at some of Dan’s Statements when you look at the painting of “The Last Supper” but remember Davinci wasn’t even born until 1500 years after the events of the Bible.

All I can say in closing is that this movie has caused a lot of controversy and hype for nothing… It isn’t even a good story, let alone the fact that it doesn’t have any basis in historical truth… Honestly, don’t buy in to the hype, wait for it to hit DVD and rent it, you’ll be glad you didn’t waste your money on this as it has no real big screen appeal…

Now if you want to see a good movie with an Albino henchman and a decent story behind it then go and rent Foul Play (Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase) as it was miles better than this movie ever could’ve been!


Recommended:
No

Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age